The Dance of David

It is rare for me to stand in front of others and be recognized as the center of attention. It is also rare for me to even stand in front of others. I do not have glossophobia. I am perfectly able to fully function in front of people on stage (I may be a bit anxious, I must admit). The reason I avoid such an attention stemmed from my desire to hide myself and only reveal the Holy Spirit within me. It is a silly and an immature behavior on retrospect, but I like to think that it had its good parts in the eyes of the Lord.

The reason I am saying all this is because I had volunteered to be one of the singers in the worship team. This is not a regular event. I am part of the worship team as the sound guy, but whenever there is a lack of male singers, I pitch in from time to time (only when there is too significant difference in the male to female ratio of singers).

Nonetheless, the experience is always humbling. I always feel like I am literally standing in front of the LORD. My arms and legs tremble, and my palms get rather sweaty. The humiliating sins accumulated within my soul, the pure beauty that draws my reverence to Him, the wonderful experience just to be in His presence leaves me wordless.

Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the Lord with all his might, while he and all Israel were bringing up the ark of the Lord with shouts and the sound of trumpets…
 David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.” 2 Samuel 6:14-15, 21-22

I keep forgetting that Christianity is not a self-help session. It is not a place to shape up my behaviors. It is a mass celebration. It is a place of shame that is no more.

At one point, I thought I really needed to be able to dance in front of millions of people. I thought I really needed to make a fool out of myself. The self in me was too strong, and is probably still too strong, but now I know what this means. It does mean that I should not be afraid of what others think of me, but it means more that my heart should be joyous even with the whisper of God’s name.