Tuesday, June 29, 2021

Resilience

Resilience is the ability to withstand, adapt to, and recover from adversities. There are several resilience factors that can be modified: a positive appraisal or outlook and good executive functioning; nurturing parenting; good maternal mental health, good self-care skills, and consistent household routines; and an understanding of trauma. The personal histories of children who overcome poverty often include at least one trusted adult (parent, grandparent, teacher) with whom the child has a special, supportive, close relationship. Pediatric providers are positioned to target and bolster resilience in their patients and families. - Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics. Edition 21. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier, 2020.

This is my last week in Pediatrics. The last two months have been eventful, but very informative. One of the difficulties I had with Pediatrics was that I had no hands-on experience with raising a child. Just by having a child to raise, normal development would be something acquired easily. Unfortunately, I am still unmarried, so I had to study from the textbook with regard to the milestones of development. 

Resilience, as the textbook puts it, is the ability to overcome challenges in life. As a child, living was never questioned. Events occurred and another day was passed. I guess I could say I had an easier childhood than most. Or, it could have been that my parents shielded me from a lot. As I grew older, the fences wore out, my parents grew older, and I faced greater challenges. 

I wondered how I had passed the difficulties that came. The traumas in life just seemed more obscure and unusual. Nonetheless, I knew I had to walk on and overcome, and this resilience just came to heart. I had a loving family, supportive friends, and most of all, God on my side. 

I really am having a hard time these days, but I trust that God will lead me on still, as He has done in pastimes. 

Tuesday, June 8, 2021

Flying Time, Crouching Age

Time truly passes fast. It's already June. I hadn't realized that I haven't written this much. Though there had been a lot that passed by, one thing for sure was that there was a lot that God wanted to heal within me. I am learning that I have a deep fear of life, that I worry too much, that I am not truly living this life, and that I am so broken from God's intention. 

Sunday, June 6, 2021

Resurrected/Unassured

My duty had been on Tuesdays and Saturdays for the last few weeks and weeks to come. Tuesday duties are far easier as I am in charge of the ward for only half the day. The Saturday duties are quite different, as I am in charge through the 24 hours. 

Nonetheless, I am still able to slip in some hours of sleep, but my Sundays start with grueling tiredness altogether. As much as I feel comfortable with my relationship with Christ again following religion, not attending church on Sundays still brings in gentle guilt.

After sleeping most of the morning away, I somewhat drag myself to church half asleep. As I head into the hall, I feel something is different. It was Holy Sunday, the day celebrated as the resurrection of Christ. 

It just seemed so long ago that I had a big stirring in my heart when thinking upon Jesus. With time, I learned to have certainty about my resurrection, my being with Christ at the end of my life. Today, however, it all seemed to be in my head, only in my thoughts did I feel like I would be in heaven. Was I truly sure that I would be with Christ?

Resurrection, I believe, yet I felt so unassured about it. I really just wanted to meet God,, truly experience his presence.