Being Heard

Words may seem like an amalgamation, but with purpose piercing through and aligning them in their course places them into action. 

Names

"Even if these three men — Noah, Daniel and Job — were in it, they could save only themselves by their righteousness, declares the Sovereign LORD." Ezekiel 14:14

It is fascinating just how many people pass by. In any gatherings, whether it be the workplace or the weekend basketball sessions, it is at times difficult to even notice anyone's departure. As I got up one morning, I thought about how many people walk past me, or drive past me. I then thought about how many people I had passed by.

I have heard before that God places exactly the people that you need around you. I then wonder if I am doing my part in being the necessary person to others. I clearly know how to talk. Then why am I so hesitant to strike up a conversation to strangers? Has the Gospel not have had a huge impact on my life than it should have?

The Bible is filled with names. From the beginning of the book of Numbers, verses go on to list many names. It even says "Take a census of the whole Israelite community by their clans and families, listing every man by name, one by one" (Numbers 1:2).  Even from Genesis, names are thrown around so many times. In the course of the Biblical history, the main focus seems to be about Jesus, but there is also an emphasis (in my mind at least) on people. The Bible covers many thousands of years in history. To have your name written as part of a grand chronology is something to be envious about, isn't it?

What did those three men have that God saw them fit for salvation? What is it about them that had their names echo into history? Am I making history? Should I be reaching out instead of dwelling in my own sorrows?

Getting Up

fly and high
with those two simple words, reality
caught in the space between two worlds
a chance to prove, What of all the books?
days go by, say a few four years
pick up the mess set your own pace and race
it wasn't so bad or hey, get up and try again
I'm becoming legendary

On Poverty

I was going through old files on my computer and I came across some notes I took last summer. They were mostly about the book I read, Hunger for Significance by R.C. Sproul. As from the title, I thought the book would be about the selfishness of the human mind and the desire for fame. It, however, focused more on people's inherent desire for recognition as a fellow human being. Interestingly enough, I was listening to a sermon that focused on justice and the awareness of needs around the world. It seemed to me a majority of charity groups up until now simply provided resources. Recently, there has growing shifts in the movement where sustainability is of more importance. Issues being set by the UN focuses on sustainability. Engineering principles have been putting emphasis on green design. Design for the Other 90% and such movements have provided ways for those in need to experience the joy of getting rewarded from hard work. In the specific sermon I heard, it suggested that whenever we think poverty, we think about the lack of ability to survive, but this is a gross misrepresentation of the reality, for true poverty encompasses the lack of thriving as well. Maybe it's time we actually put into action the old saying on teaching how to fish, rather than giving it.

*I wanted to point out the sermon that I listened to since I feel like I copied what the pastor said exactly. The sermon was from Blackhawk Church, one I attended when living in Madison. Here's the link if you want to hear about what he pastor was actually saying and the book where he got insight on the issue. Justice and Poverty: March 20,2011

Man Living in a Single Room

I had the chance to talk to one who called himself "the man living in a single room." What he was doing mainly was paying off his debts. He added that this was of most importance to him at this time. He acknowledged that he was doing this not because he wanted to, but because he had to. He was hoping to be debt free in 3 years. Naturally, what he wanted to say was that he wanted to make money.

Trauma for Isaac?

The first time I read the story of Abraham and his obedience portrayed through his journey to sacrifice his son, I could not stop thinking about what Isaac had felt.

"When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son." Genesis 22:9-10

Now, for those unfamiliar with the story, God stopped Abraham and prepared for him a ram for sacrifice. Some of you may say that this is still ridiculous, but I am no professional in this field and I'm not writing this to debate on grounds of the goodness of God. What I wanted to point out was what Isaac would have been thinking all along. If it were for me, I definitely would have been screaming my lungs out. Taking one step further, I do not think this incident on the altar would have been the worst. I think the worst part of it all would have been the fact that Isaac still had to live with his father who tried to kill him. Talk about daily nightmares.

Yet, the Bible never mentions how Isaac coped with it all. It never talks about whether or not Isaac developed psychological issues. Then, I thought about authority: authority of God to Abraham, authority of Abraham to Isaac. Nowadays, authority seemed to have taken on a negative connotation. Those in power such as politicians, policemen, or just wealthy individuals are called the "man" and have become a hated figure. "Overthrow the system," "be free," "rebel," et cetera... As I compared my childhood days in Korea to what it is now, authority and respect have indeed thinned. The elders are not as respected and the teenage rebellious spirit seems to be higher than what I had experienced. Would authority have been such a great issue back in the days of the Bible? Did Isaac know who he was and what authority his father had? Further, what authority God had? If Isaac knew fully who God was and how God had complete control of his life through the hands of Abraham, he would not have been scared. He would have been silently obedient on the altar. Another breath I take had been given by God. If I truly knew how my life was in His hands, would I dare say a word when He decides to take it away?

Thanking Old Friends

I thought I would take some time to thank a friend of mine. I moved to the States in 8th grade. Actually, I was placed in 7th grade for a few weeks because the school did not think I could speak English well. I hadn't really cared since they promised to move me up after seeing how well I did. I was pretty confident I would have no trouble with the English language. Nonetheless, in that short amount of time, I managed to make a friend. His name was B. I don't remember what his last name was (even if I did, I probably wouldn't post it here). He was one of the 'outsiders' within the class. Mind you, when I say outsider, I do not mean to transfer on any negative connotations, just that he and I were not in the main circle of kids. After I left 7th grade, I couldn't really stay in touch with him. To be honest, I'm not sure if I even wanted to stay in touch with him. In my immature state of mind, I guess I thought if I kept on being friends with him I would be forced out of the popular circle. It's really fascinated by how my mind worked back then. I tried so desperately to fit in. It was as if I was living my life to be seen by others, categorizing people and analyzing how I can survive.

If he ever reads this, which is highly unlikely, I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I was young and immature. They are the same of excuses, but none more can express my true sorrows better. 

Ideas

Ideas are fleeting. They pass by so quickly. I even decided to get a little notebook to jot all these thoughts down. Funny how when I see my notes at home, they're all so jumbled and confusing. Constant struggle to remember, a battle to hold on. It seems like a microcosm of ourselves within this planet. Fading away, leaving marks.

"I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is down under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! I have seen all the things that are down under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind." Ecclesiastes 1:12-14

On my drive to Philadelphia from Pittsburgh, I had downloaded a whole series of sermons on the book of Ecclesiastes. As I was driving by myself, I had a lot of time to think about this passage. I always had a spot of nihilism deep inside the corner of my brain. Upon first reading this, it fueled such thoughts more so, but I had been terribly wrong in my thoughts. The hidden message written in between the spaces of lines was that life was meaningless without God. I always thought myself to be floating around, but a sense of purpose had started to grow. 

Hong Kong Salaryman

I had a chance to talk to a salary man in Hong Kong, actually, many times. I figured it would be easier for myself if I actually started this interviewing with close friends, even people I see many times. It gave me something new to talk about, which was a plus.

He wanted to describe himself as a Hong Kong salary man whose eyes were fixed upon one lady. He mentioned an analogy of a sunflower, but I'm not sure how well this would translate, so I'll leave it at that. Another comment I liked was that he was a modern man, scared of sadness.

He had a couple of thoughts he wanted to share. One was that he was afraid of the "red movement", in which he discussed the current thoughts of populism far beyond that of the French Revolution. He continued to say that it will result in the "tyranny of the majority." He discussed how businesses are unstable while human population is ever on the increase, and that the current system of society has problems and is in need of solutions.

As ending shutouts  he wanted to say that he loves his girlfriend (and that people should not wear skimpy clothes in the winter).

Voices of Neighbors

I always wanted to be able to talk to complete strangers. Though I don't consider myself introverted anymore, I still am not outgoing enough to make small talk with people I have never seen. In order to overcome such shyness, I decided to become a writer interviewing strangers. I got myself a small notebook and some questions to ask. Now, keep in mind I probably will be interviewing people I know as well, because it would be interesting to keep track of what people are thinking whether here or there in the world. 

Priesthood

"The LORD has sworn  
  and will not change his mind:
'You are a priest forever,
  in the order of Melchizedek.'"
                                  Psalm 110:4

I wanted to have this here, thinking this was what God wanted for me in my life. I now know that life isn't meant to be about me. The verse speaks about Jesus Christ, the one we are to look towards, always. 

The Reason Why

Becoming a voice.

I think the first book I read thoroughly was The Great Gatsby. Frankly, I don't quite remember what the book was about. I simply remember that reading the book was my homework. Unlike any other books, however, I actually enjoyed reading it. Later when I developed spiritually, I started reading books on Christianity. Books written by C. S. Lewis was definitely one of my favorites. I think it was then when I saw how beautiful words were. Individual words had its story to tell. They had their own histories, their own failures and glory. Intricately woven words ceased to be simple figures, but mediators. I wondered how well I would have done on the SATs if I had learned the beauty of language back then.

As I was learning the joys of reading, I concurrently built my desire to write. I had been an instant messenger freak in my youth. Whatever its consequences, I had the opportunity to share pieces of my life with a lady. I met her some years ago in Korea. She wanted to be a writer. Not a professional one, but simply someone who left traces of herself, her memories and the works of God. Reading what she wrote made me peaceful. I wanted to do the same.

Sadly, our relationship did not go so well. It was more like we had parted ways, no hard feelings. We were at different stages in life. (As of now, she got married and is expecting her first child.) I did learn quite a lot from the relationship. I realized that I was very much selfish and that I never really listened to anyone. This lack of attention seemed to be ubiquitous in my life. I seldom listened to others whether it be my parents, friends or even girlfriends, but most of all, I never tried to listen to what God had to say.

Recently, I had graduated from a university and had been having trouble moving on in life. With all this time to ponder about the whys and the whats, I unknowingly paid more attention to God. In reading the Bible a little more, I was hooked on the story of the centurion with great faith. I remember listening to a sermon explaining how the centurion recognized the authority within commands. Words expressed through voice. "A voice of one calling in the desert..." As I learned what it meant to listen, I learned what it meant to speak. Spoken words had power. It represented who I was, and there, I knew I wanted to become a voice, someday speaking for those unheard.

First Post!

Commemorating the first stone set is perhaps to acknowledge where it all started when time has passed beyond memory. As I will look back time after time, I hope this serves as a guiding post for all that I write in hopes that these words to come are no meaningless blabber. 

I dedicate all of this to You. Though I may not know You completely here in this life, I hope my striving is pleasing to You.