Wednesday, February 28, 2018
On Relationships and Farewells
Relationships are difficult. It is supposed to be inexplicable, confusing. Despite all the pain, however, I am still willing to try. As long as both are willing to change, it will work out someday. But, I do realize that some can simply end, and I have learned to accept that. Parting ways is so naturally too. Thank you nonetheless.
Tuesday, February 27, 2018
Miracle in the Pit
The night was darker. Only a small torch lit up the damp dungeon cell. Visipus had been finally captured. The officials knew well the religious traditions. They knew that he would be among the lakes, baptizing new converts. It was forbidden to do so, as the followers of Jesus caused much chaos among the nation.
Word had it that he did not resist. He was simply taken into custody by the guards. There were many heavily armed guards present, so some suspected that he accepted his fate. Some disagree because he was a built. He could have easily run away. Some said he was only buying time for the new converts to make their escape.
Whatever it was, Visipus was now in prison, covered in dirt and moss. He was to be thrown into the infamous pit, one full of lions and gladiators with hundreds of seating surrounding it. It had been the spectacle for months now, a political gimmick.
There was hope, however. If he managed to survive, he had the chance to be spared. Visipus was a warrior, one who knew no defeat in his battles. His strength was well known among men. His fierceness was compared to that of beasts. But, like all tragedies, he was to be thrown in without armor, without weapons. His hands were also to be tied.
The night was longer for Visipus. Perhaps if he prayed desperately, God could grant him might strength like that of Samson, for Visipus knew all his victories had been God-given. Yet, the next morning, Visipus had his hands fastened behind his back, ropes still intact. No bars had been bent. No walls had been broken through. Visipus sat still, calmly in his cell.
The pit was filled with crowds. Groups of hecklers and drunkards were shouting incoherent mockery. Gentler people also were present simply to enjoy an event. High officials came to gain a little political standing by showing off their commonness. Among the crowds, however, there were soldiers, cleverly disguised as just another audience. They were the followers of Visipus, the converts who once fought side by side with Visipus. They were all hiding a weapon beneath their clothes, ready to strike when time was right.
Visipus was pushed in from a tiny plank above ground. He came down with a loud thud. He could not break his fall, hurting his head mightily. As he gathered himself, four lions growled towards him from around. Then entered the gladiators, six in total. They were all champions of battles before. Some were slaves to wealthy masters. Some simply enjoyed the spotlight. They all wanted to be the one to have slain Visipus.
As the gladiators closed in on Visipus, he closed his eyes and remained ever so calm.
Just then, from the crowds, a thundering shout called out a name. "Visipus!" And like that of a lightning flash, a shining spear pierced through and landed just below the feet of Visipus. It was the spear of Phinehas. It had been his family treasure since ages ago. Visipus was indeed the descendent of Phinehas, a family firm in their trust towards God. Thought the ancestors drifted away slowly to ill teachings of the Pharisees, Visipus recognized Jesus as the son of God by the Holy Spirit.
Visipus quickly cut the ropes tying his hands with the spear. He grabbed it and spun it around with ease, beams of light blinding the gladiators fearful with each swing. Visipus took his battle stance, and all the gladiators took a step back in avarice. The torn garments he wore now seemed to be armor, impenetrable.
Total silence. With a blink of an eye, anyone could be pinned to the ground by the man in rags. Visipus slowly moved his feet. No one wanted to be the first to move, lest he be fallen.
All of a sudden, Visipus plunged the spear into the ground. He stood guardless, almost helpless before the crowd. For a few seconds, everyone was left in shock, but soon the crowd roared even louder. The gladiators were still cautious, but they now gathered but the courage to approach him. One eager for fame lunged to attack Visipus.
Visipus slowly closed his eyes to accept his fate, but a loud scream forced his eyes open yet again.
The lions began to maul the gladiators. One by one, they were torn to pieces, with each lion filling their appetite withe the remains of the freshly dead. The pit was in utter chaos.
The lions, however, began to lie down, almost purring before Visipus. They gathered towards him, and laid low, guarding each inch of the mighty warrior.
After the commotion had died down, the officials ordered the lions to be taken back into their cages. Soon, guards shielded around Visipus, and waited for the liberation of him granted by the highest ranked official present.
As the official ordered the guards to take Visipus away, Visipus knew he would not be left alive. He would be executed without the knowledge of the people. It would be too dangerous for the officials, yet too risky to have publicly killed him amidst the crowd. The followers were ready to jump in and save Visipus, but Visipus saw through their intent and collectively shook his head. He knew that his time had come. He was glad to have been a witness to God deliverance. He was glad to now be finally with the one he loved.
Word had it that he did not resist. He was simply taken into custody by the guards. There were many heavily armed guards present, so some suspected that he accepted his fate. Some disagree because he was a built. He could have easily run away. Some said he was only buying time for the new converts to make their escape.
Whatever it was, Visipus was now in prison, covered in dirt and moss. He was to be thrown into the infamous pit, one full of lions and gladiators with hundreds of seating surrounding it. It had been the spectacle for months now, a political gimmick.
There was hope, however. If he managed to survive, he had the chance to be spared. Visipus was a warrior, one who knew no defeat in his battles. His strength was well known among men. His fierceness was compared to that of beasts. But, like all tragedies, he was to be thrown in without armor, without weapons. His hands were also to be tied.
The night was longer for Visipus. Perhaps if he prayed desperately, God could grant him might strength like that of Samson, for Visipus knew all his victories had been God-given. Yet, the next morning, Visipus had his hands fastened behind his back, ropes still intact. No bars had been bent. No walls had been broken through. Visipus sat still, calmly in his cell.
The pit was filled with crowds. Groups of hecklers and drunkards were shouting incoherent mockery. Gentler people also were present simply to enjoy an event. High officials came to gain a little political standing by showing off their commonness. Among the crowds, however, there were soldiers, cleverly disguised as just another audience. They were the followers of Visipus, the converts who once fought side by side with Visipus. They were all hiding a weapon beneath their clothes, ready to strike when time was right.
Visipus was pushed in from a tiny plank above ground. He came down with a loud thud. He could not break his fall, hurting his head mightily. As he gathered himself, four lions growled towards him from around. Then entered the gladiators, six in total. They were all champions of battles before. Some were slaves to wealthy masters. Some simply enjoyed the spotlight. They all wanted to be the one to have slain Visipus.
As the gladiators closed in on Visipus, he closed his eyes and remained ever so calm.
Just then, from the crowds, a thundering shout called out a name. "Visipus!" And like that of a lightning flash, a shining spear pierced through and landed just below the feet of Visipus. It was the spear of Phinehas. It had been his family treasure since ages ago. Visipus was indeed the descendent of Phinehas, a family firm in their trust towards God. Thought the ancestors drifted away slowly to ill teachings of the Pharisees, Visipus recognized Jesus as the son of God by the Holy Spirit.
Visipus quickly cut the ropes tying his hands with the spear. He grabbed it and spun it around with ease, beams of light blinding the gladiators fearful with each swing. Visipus took his battle stance, and all the gladiators took a step back in avarice. The torn garments he wore now seemed to be armor, impenetrable.
Total silence. With a blink of an eye, anyone could be pinned to the ground by the man in rags. Visipus slowly moved his feet. No one wanted to be the first to move, lest he be fallen.
All of a sudden, Visipus plunged the spear into the ground. He stood guardless, almost helpless before the crowd. For a few seconds, everyone was left in shock, but soon the crowd roared even louder. The gladiators were still cautious, but they now gathered but the courage to approach him. One eager for fame lunged to attack Visipus.
Visipus slowly closed his eyes to accept his fate, but a loud scream forced his eyes open yet again.
The lions began to maul the gladiators. One by one, they were torn to pieces, with each lion filling their appetite withe the remains of the freshly dead. The pit was in utter chaos.
The lions, however, began to lie down, almost purring before Visipus. They gathered towards him, and laid low, guarding each inch of the mighty warrior.
After the commotion had died down, the officials ordered the lions to be taken back into their cages. Soon, guards shielded around Visipus, and waited for the liberation of him granted by the highest ranked official present.
As the official ordered the guards to take Visipus away, Visipus knew he would not be left alive. He would be executed without the knowledge of the people. It would be too dangerous for the officials, yet too risky to have publicly killed him amidst the crowd. The followers were ready to jump in and save Visipus, but Visipus saw through their intent and collectively shook his head. He knew that his time had come. He was glad to have been a witness to God deliverance. He was glad to now be finally with the one he loved.
Friday, February 23, 2018
Expectations and Disappointments
I had wanted to become an inventor, a scientist when I was a child. When in high school, I decided that I had wanted to become a doctor. Thankfully, I had majored in engineering, and by doing so, I had gotten a glimpse of what an inventor/scientist did for a living. It was nothing like the books on stories of Einstein and Da Vinci. Though I was disappointed, I was already on my path to head onto medical school.
While I was in medical school, I had imagined a life of servitude. I had expected passionate and mature students to study alongside of me. I sought professors who were active in serving the community while working hard to train young soon-to-be doctors. I was wrong. Medical school was full of tests and textbooks. Everyone was too busy to care about anything.
After graduation, I finally enrolled in the military. I was not trained to be a soldier but as a public health doctor. I would not be in a military base, but a local branch of a public health center, somewhere in the rural countryside. All the public health doctors would tell me that it would be the golden three years of my life, full of opportunities and time with few responsibilities. I expected such enjoyment of life, but was faced with nothingness and loneliness.
There were only a few of my expectations and following disappointments. Of course the experiences were not complete miseries. I was disappointed, but it also had its positive aspects. I did not totally lose my gratitude and thankfulness, but it had gotten me thinking about expectations and disappointments.
What was it that I expected in the first place? Why did I start imagining what I had wanted to see? Where did these expectations come from? Why did I feel sorry for expectations not being met?
There are many writings on the subject, but I had yet to find one that explains deeper psychology on the matter. Most articles simply say that people are disappointed because of expectations. That would be it. I wanted more.
Abraham was promised a son. He was left in the dark for years, childless. The runaways from Egypt expected wealthiness, but they were met with fields of desert, only eating manna for days on end. The Israelites expected a king, but they were met with a man nailed to a cross.
Truly Jesus was king, but he was saving his people from eternal damnation. It almost seemed like God was telling me to expect nothing of this world, but expect the kingdom that is to come.
"Rejoice greatly, Daughter Zion! Shout, Daughter Jerusalem!
See, your king comes to you, righteous and victorious,
lowly and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey."
While I was in medical school, I had imagined a life of servitude. I had expected passionate and mature students to study alongside of me. I sought professors who were active in serving the community while working hard to train young soon-to-be doctors. I was wrong. Medical school was full of tests and textbooks. Everyone was too busy to care about anything.
After graduation, I finally enrolled in the military. I was not trained to be a soldier but as a public health doctor. I would not be in a military base, but a local branch of a public health center, somewhere in the rural countryside. All the public health doctors would tell me that it would be the golden three years of my life, full of opportunities and time with few responsibilities. I expected such enjoyment of life, but was faced with nothingness and loneliness.
There were only a few of my expectations and following disappointments. Of course the experiences were not complete miseries. I was disappointed, but it also had its positive aspects. I did not totally lose my gratitude and thankfulness, but it had gotten me thinking about expectations and disappointments.
What was it that I expected in the first place? Why did I start imagining what I had wanted to see? Where did these expectations come from? Why did I feel sorry for expectations not being met?
There are many writings on the subject, but I had yet to find one that explains deeper psychology on the matter. Most articles simply say that people are disappointed because of expectations. That would be it. I wanted more.
Abraham was promised a son. He was left in the dark for years, childless. The runaways from Egypt expected wealthiness, but they were met with fields of desert, only eating manna for days on end. The Israelites expected a king, but they were met with a man nailed to a cross.
Truly Jesus was king, but he was saving his people from eternal damnation. It almost seemed like God was telling me to expect nothing of this world, but expect the kingdom that is to come.
"Rejoice greatly, Daughter Zion! Shout, Daughter Jerusalem!
See, your king comes to you, righteous and victorious,
lowly and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey."
Zechariah 9:9
I know that salvation from this world will come as well. I know our necessities will be met, and that situations in life will change by the will of God. I know, however, that the best is to come, not of this world, but of His world.
This conclusion is no answer to the questions I had before, but I figured I should be content with this for now.
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
정리
운동을 하다 문득 너에 대한 생각이 들었다.
하지만 이번에는 평소같이 보고 싶다는 마음보다는
너는 어디선가 다른 누군가와의 추억들을 쌓아가고 있을 것이란 생각이었다.
내가 너를 기다리는 시간만큼 너는 다른 누군가의 사람이 되어가고 있다는 것을.
혹시나 네가 나를 다시 돌아본다 한들
내가 알던 너는 없을 것이라는 마음이 들었다.
내가 기다리고 있는 것은 다시는 볼 수 없을 너의 잔상이라는걸.
마음이 정리되고 있다.
괜히 오래 걸린 기분이지만 아쉬움이 사라지는 만큼
마음의 평안이 찾아오고 있다는 걸 느낀다.
하지만 이번에는 평소같이 보고 싶다는 마음보다는
너는 어디선가 다른 누군가와의 추억들을 쌓아가고 있을 것이란 생각이었다.
내가 너를 기다리는 시간만큼 너는 다른 누군가의 사람이 되어가고 있다는 것을.
혹시나 네가 나를 다시 돌아본다 한들
내가 알던 너는 없을 것이라는 마음이 들었다.
내가 기다리고 있는 것은 다시는 볼 수 없을 너의 잔상이라는걸.
마음이 정리되고 있다.
괜히 오래 걸린 기분이지만 아쉬움이 사라지는 만큼
마음의 평안이 찾아오고 있다는 걸 느낀다.
Sunday, February 18, 2018
Presence of God Here and Now
It is always good to hear God's message. Although I always wonder if I am being too self-minded, almost paranoic, when taking a message from a sermon as a personal one from God, I figured it is better to take a message to heart than to let it go hours later.
Lately, I have been praying inches more, and hoped to know what God had wanted from me lately. The sermon was on being happy with the verses from Luke 22:39-46.
"'Why are you sleeping?' he asked them. 'Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.'" Luke 22:46
I took verse 46 very personally. It almost seemed like God was telling me to wake up right that moment. He had wanted me to pray more for whatever the reason. Something could be coming, and he must have wanted to endure it.
Such an experience makes me hold this church community all the more precious. The service, the worship, simply being in the presence of God with such passionate people was truly amazing.
I pray dearly that no one takes this away from me.
Lately, I have been praying inches more, and hoped to know what God had wanted from me lately. The sermon was on being happy with the verses from Luke 22:39-46.
"'Why are you sleeping?' he asked them. 'Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.'" Luke 22:46
I took verse 46 very personally. It almost seemed like God was telling me to wake up right that moment. He had wanted me to pray more for whatever the reason. Something could be coming, and he must have wanted to endure it.
Such an experience makes me hold this church community all the more precious. The service, the worship, simply being in the presence of God with such passionate people was truly amazing.
I pray dearly that no one takes this away from me.
Saturday, February 10, 2018
Soul at Rest
"The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me.
Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.
For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,
my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,
Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.
For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,
my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living."
Psalm 116:5-9
O God, let me not worry. Let not my soul become downcast. Let me hopeful. Let me remember that you are in control. Let me know that you indeed have plans for me. Let me truly be joyful in my walk with You.
Let my soul be at rest
Let my soul be at rest
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
What is the Good News?
"After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. 'The time has come,' he said. 'The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!'" Mark 1:14-15
Christians often talk about spreading the Gospel, but I have not heard many explain what it exactly is.
What is the good news then?
In trying to understand it better, I decided to stretch back into the book of Isaiah, specifically in Isaiah 61. The verses show how God will rebuild the broken, heal the sick, and ultimately save his people. So why the sudden talk of saving?
Moving further back, the need for salvation lies in the story of Adam and Eve. In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve are banished from the Garden of Eden and ultimately from God's presence. From that, humanity is cursed to suffer and die in life as God had proclaimed.
Thus, humanity was in position to suffer and die away from God's presence. The good news started in a verse that comes immediately after Adam and Eve fall to sin by the serpent's temptation.
"Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." Genesis 3:15
This verse is explained to be the promise of God to bring punishment to the devil and ultimately save us from the problem of sin.
Now coming back to the book of Isaiah, this salvation was promised all throughout the book, specifically in mentioning Jesus. Thus, when Jesus says "Repent and believe the good news," he is saying that he is the Messiah promised and that by his death, we will be saved, brought back to God's presence, away from suffering and death.
In understanding such a background, it is now easy to say that this verse is the Bible summarized.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
Christians often talk about spreading the Gospel, but I have not heard many explain what it exactly is.
What is the good news then?
In trying to understand it better, I decided to stretch back into the book of Isaiah, specifically in Isaiah 61. The verses show how God will rebuild the broken, heal the sick, and ultimately save his people. So why the sudden talk of saving?
Moving further back, the need for salvation lies in the story of Adam and Eve. In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve are banished from the Garden of Eden and ultimately from God's presence. From that, humanity is cursed to suffer and die in life as God had proclaimed.
Thus, humanity was in position to suffer and die away from God's presence. The good news started in a verse that comes immediately after Adam and Eve fall to sin by the serpent's temptation.
"Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." Genesis 3:15
This verse is explained to be the promise of God to bring punishment to the devil and ultimately save us from the problem of sin.
Now coming back to the book of Isaiah, this salvation was promised all throughout the book, specifically in mentioning Jesus. Thus, when Jesus says "Repent and believe the good news," he is saying that he is the Messiah promised and that by his death, we will be saved, brought back to God's presence, away from suffering and death.
In understanding such a background, it is now easy to say that this verse is the Bible summarized.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
Sunday, February 4, 2018
Enjoying Life as of Now
I have been going to different churches, different services since the start of 2018 for various reasons. Nonetheless, the service I attended today was quite memorable.
The service was held at a high school. Since it was at 4:30 PM, there was little traffic. The parking was easy and not a lot of people were around. The auditorium was only mildly filled, lots of space in between others. The worship was lovely, the service was well prepared.
Most importantly, however, actually, the only importance was that God seemed to have been present within the church.
I especially admired the pastor, for he truly seemed to love God. This is probably why his message was all the more memorable.
"Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment." Ecclesiastes 11:9 (ESV)
"Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, 'I find no pleasure in them'" Ecclesiastes 12:1 (NIV)
I had been searching for something lately. I knew it would only be filled by God, but I just could not move myself to actively seek Him. I resented this time of little responsibility and little interaction to society, but this was truly my time of youth. I may not be a teenager, but a younger member of society. This was my time give by God to tirelessly enjoy all that is in the world. I know God has plans for me, plans for me to be a part of his works, but I know he also wants me to enjoy what he has built.
I had always taken the message as a warning not to enjoy life, but nowadays, it seems to be read more so along the lines of a gentle reminder that God is here, in complete reign.
I am not sure if God is leading me to this specific church, but I know that I wanted to be among those that were passionate for God.
The service was held at a high school. Since it was at 4:30 PM, there was little traffic. The parking was easy and not a lot of people were around. The auditorium was only mildly filled, lots of space in between others. The worship was lovely, the service was well prepared.
Most importantly, however, actually, the only importance was that God seemed to have been present within the church.
I especially admired the pastor, for he truly seemed to love God. This is probably why his message was all the more memorable.
"Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment." Ecclesiastes 11:9 (ESV)
"Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, 'I find no pleasure in them'" Ecclesiastes 12:1 (NIV)
I had been searching for something lately. I knew it would only be filled by God, but I just could not move myself to actively seek Him. I resented this time of little responsibility and little interaction to society, but this was truly my time of youth. I may not be a teenager, but a younger member of society. This was my time give by God to tirelessly enjoy all that is in the world. I know God has plans for me, plans for me to be a part of his works, but I know he also wants me to enjoy what he has built.
I had always taken the message as a warning not to enjoy life, but nowadays, it seems to be read more so along the lines of a gentle reminder that God is here, in complete reign.
I am not sure if God is leading me to this specific church, but I know that I wanted to be among those that were passionate for God.
Friday, February 2, 2018
Armor of God
"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist,
with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith,
with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
Belt of truth, for truth holds everything together
Breastplate of righteousness, to the protect the heart in turning towards sin
Feet of peace, to bring reconciliation anywhere you go
Shield of faith, to guard against attacks of temptation by the evil one
Helmet of salvation, to know the final destination is in God
Sword of the Spirit, to act powerfully in bringing change
with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith,
with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
Ephesians 6:14-17
Belt of truth, for truth holds everything together
Breastplate of righteousness, to the protect the heart in turning towards sin
Feet of peace, to bring reconciliation anywhere you go
Shield of faith, to guard against attacks of temptation by the evil one
Helmet of salvation, to know the final destination is in God
Sword of the Spirit, to act powerfully in bringing change
Thursday, February 1, 2018
La Vita Nuova by Dante Alighieri
La Vita Nuova by Dante Alighieri
In that book which is
My memory...
On the first page
That is the chapter when
I first met you
Appear the words...
Here begins a new life
In that book which is
My memory...
On the first page
That is the chapter when
I first met you
Appear the words...
Here begins a new life
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