That I am

Still searching for something spiritual

Circling the Jericho

It was definitely a walk I would remember.

I had no idea how big this palace would be. My friend simply told me it was common for people to walk around the Imperial Palace. As he was busy, I decided to venture out alone. I had flip-flops on that were scraping my skin off. My ankles were hurting, but I had walked too much to turn back. Each corner, I would hope there would be a shortcut into the palace, but the walls simply kept going on and on. 

I started thinking about the people of Israel and the miracle seen in Jericho. I wondered how big Jericho was, and how much effort was put in by the Israelites. Though completely unrelated, I looked back at myself, and realized how little effort I put into God's plans. 

I decided to walk some more, hoping I would reach an end. Sooner or later, I saw a great opening. The walls ended and big wide roads cleared into the palace. The entrance was wide open, no gates to close either. Would thus be the sights of heaven? Hopefully, I will not give up when it matters the most, when I am heaven-bound.  

Treasure Chest

Precious jewel, the heart. 

Week in Japan

I had the chance to spend nearly a week in Japan with a friend of mine. He had lived in Japan nearly half his life and was incidentally visiting just when my break started, so I thought this would be a great chance to see another country without much hassle. Plus, I had to get away for a while to decompress. 

This was my second time visiting Japan, but my first time actually experiencing much of the country. As much as I had passion, I really had not planned for anything. I had not even spent a single minute trying to study Japanese. Naturally, when the flight attendant asked (or so I think) what I wanted to drink, I had no idea how to say "water." Instead, I pointed towards a pitcher, which happened to be hot tea. Who serves hot beverages in a transparent pitcher anyways? 

That little incident was not the last of my stupidity. After having spent the plane ride sweating, my friend and I hopped onto the subway, only to see it backtrack to a completely different station. I wore shoes on the day that rained the hardest. I wore flip-flops on the day that I walked the most (all the way around the Imperial Palace). My friend got locked out in the middle of the night, which freaked me out as I thought I started hearing voices in my head. 

With all stupidity aside, though, I really did enjoy the time I spent. The best part of the whole trip was being able to venture onto where people actually lived. Instead of hanging around the major tourist areas, my friend took me to every corner of the city. With one turn to the left or right, the busy streets would be met with serenity, as each and every side street was in perfect bliss. And the pork cutlet. It was the best I ever had. 

All in all, I soon realized that Japan was yet another country filled with people simply living. Although so many stereotypes and false assumptions are abound, it was just another town, groups of people yet to be saved. 

Serious

For some, there are no second chances.

Watchmen

“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world….” Psalm 19:1-4a

On the bus rides back from away games, I would look out the window and watch silhouettes pass by. Dark figures of trees and endless plains. A faint glimmer of the moonlight gave just enough light to ponder about the mystery: What was out there? I would be scared thinking about being there alone. The vast emptiness was such a depressing thought. Yet, I knew if I had gotten closer, I would see life gleaming from within. The grass would provide comfort; the animals would look up, but soon go about their ways. Even the bugs would scuttle along. Why had I been so afraid?

The world overflows with the grace of God, his divine being. The darkness is nothing to be afraid of. It merely is the state of which you can see clearly the presence of God. Take a deep breath. The blank of night will calmly cover all the iniquities. 

Stronghold

It's the little things that count.
But here am I, gone awry
So high and mighty
Grace seems so slow, yet so perfect.

With the world in such chaos
what meaning is left but the values we hold?
The values we hold greater than life.

Breaktime Part 1

Hey everyone, not that I really had followers :P More like “Hi myself; hi God!” It has been nearly four months, and I had just gone through my first semester of medical school. I doubt a man could change so much in such a short time, but I would like to believe that I have indeed changed for the better, at least a little bit. Right from the start, I realized that I had a lot of false conception about medical school. Though so glorified by many, it really was simply a school, a school with people just like you and me. I must say, though, everyone was studious. I guess one of the first few things I learned was to control my sleeping patterns. I had always needed at least five to six hours to function. Now, well, I’m getting better. I won’t say that I do not have to catch up on sleep during the weekends, but I definitely learned how to sleep less, and study more. I guess a sentimental part of me enjoys the fact that I am able to stay up later, allowing me to break the boundaries of night and day. Time almost seemed to mesh together, yesterdays and tomorrows.

One thing is for sure, however; I am slowly losing contact with society, almost being channeled out of humanity. As a first year student, I haven’t even been able to go to the hospital to see any patients. I do understand the policy, as I still know nothing about the human body, but a lot of my passion for goodwill unto the nations has been put on hold. My walk with God has slowly faded, not that I lost the passion, but shear time was lacking. I do realize that studying is indeed a part of worship, for He has put me here as a student, but it really was difficult spending less moments with God.

I started to wonder what it is that I had paid to get here. Not in the financial sense, but in terms of life: connection to society, my inner humanity, my faith. I know that I lost a good friend. Though it may be too early to be saying this, but, this time, there will always be scar tissue that gently reminds the hurt within the relationship.

“What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” Matthew 16:26

Indeed. What have I sacrificed to gain for myself? What have I sacrificed for God? The balance weighs one-sided.

Hopefully, at the end of this tunnel, I will meet my purpose, my calling, without having lost too much. 

Yay

Though you may not be the best brother,
there really is no other.
Sad to say, I'm no saint either,
so lets just call it a day, why bother?

Still a heaven sent instrument,
down here on earth for rent.
So, this what I really meant:
I love you brother, happy birthday

For you: a Rainy mist

Awaken to a gentle slumber,
majestic is its scene, an early summer.
O, where do I begin? A dream is where I'm in.
The tranquility is enough for my serenity.
All the broken hopes now finally elopes
Mended pieces, unfolding life's creases,
letting myself enamored, encaptured by the calm breeze.
Festivities burst with colors pastel.
Sounds paint wonders of a day.
The sun may shine out the iniquities,
but a forgiving cover is what I truly need.
A rainy mist, a love too great to resist

No Man Is An Island By John Donne

No Man Is An Island By John Donne

No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend's
Or of thine own were:
Any man's death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.