Challenges and Farewell

Last year was one big drama, a mystery after mystery.
I think I got it though.
Now, it's the part where everyone says goodbye.
It's time I write my aftermath, the epilogue.
Keeping a blog is too easy.
I'm off to find a challenge.
Adios and farewell.

On Behaviors

Work as if God will not help you.
Pray as if you cannot do anything by yourself.
Act as if God forgives no sins.
Repent as if He cleanses all iniquities.
Receive as if you have nothing.
Give as if you have the world to yours. 

Collab: ReClaim, Part 3

고민의 연속에 하염없이 타 들어가는 맘속, 걱정이란 기어는 또 다시 나게 변속

지금도 내 삶은 반년 째 정체. 아침에 알람 끄고 다시 자는 게 비일비재

그래도 아직 젊은 우리들은 깨끗한 편지지, 여유로 기다려 하나의 복이지

Cries in the Night

I asked, “What about my sins?” He gently replied, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Triste

우울한 언제 적 독백

정신 차리고 보니 시간은 새벽 3:30.

무엇인가에 쫓기듯 일어나 이를 닦고 독한 버릇처럼 핸드폰을 만지고 책상에 앉았다.

밀려오는 삶의 후회. 그동안 왜 더 열심히 살지 않았을까? 용기는 언제부터 잃었던 것일까?

자책하며 나의 행동의 결과들을 되씹어본다.
감사하고 싶어도 격한 아쉬움에 시간은 더 지나고만 있다.

흘러가는 시계 태엽소리. 나의 태엽이 다 풀릴 때까지 이 새벽은 지나고 있다.

Embryonic Thoughts

In a random turn of events, rather intricately woven by God as I must, I have been led back in Korea, back in my room, in front of my desk, studying embryology. I have to admit it has been a bold, almost arrogant, challenge for me. It is indeed difficult studying subjects of long history all alone. Aside from the effectiveness of my studies, a deep question has been growing, which led me to write such thoughts down. The birth of a baby has many steps, all with great risks in problems, and some leading to death. As I am here looking at pictures of dead fetuses, one without a head, one with attached legs (like a mermaid), one with two heads, some with no spine, others with chromosome problems, all just looking like nothing more than flesh. Who defines life? Are these babies or just piles of meat? It’s almost chilling that I am reading parts of Genesis, in which humanity is being cursed to bear pain in childbirth. It is almost paradoxical to hear that our God is a loving God, when there are so much remnants of the curse pervasive. Imagine the horrors the mother would go through in seeing a monstrous form lying dead ridden with blood. Or would it be bittersweet love and mercy on such tragedy? What are we to say? What are we to do, but just move on? I’m trying hard to understand His thoughts on this. What is God’s plan in having us see such brokenness? Or maybe I should simply get back to studying.