Last to First Determination

This is Gras to the Deo 
saying heyo with some new beats, 
new rhymes and some new cheat sheets

Counting days to the last test, 
making ways to a new quest, 
God's behest, the love, divine celeste

New start rises, surprises
My life bought, fought with the blood
Here to say, I am not done. 

Inspired from Acts 20:24

Running past all obstacles, piercing through all barriers,
framed as a fugitive, but ever so righteous in heart.
The world comes crashing down, yet he still runs.
He has only one goal in mind: 

To do justice, love kindness, and to walk humbly with God.
The sacrifice of sins motivates the once immobile feet.
The grace of life grips firm his hands to what is at reach.
He runs, he falls, he is caught, beaten, broken and bound.
Yet, he gains strength once more to run, towards his calling home, to God’s embrace

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” Acts 20:24

Morning After Thoughts

Most college students would be familiar with the term, "Finals week." It is a week long (even a week and a half to some students) schedule allotted for taking the final exams of courses registered. Finals week to me was a rather happy time of the year. Rarely would there be exams back to back, so I would study what has been taught over the semester leisurely. It also foreboded the coming of summer or winter break. 

Unfortunately, this semester was utterly different. The finals week was more so a month, and there was an exam everyday. The weekends were off thankfully, so I would catch up on lost sleep. 

I would be studying without realizing what time it was quite often. I would see the sun set and rise in time, while students would come and go. 

There is a big church right beside the school. Every early morning, the sun would shine through the blinds and a faint shadow of the cross would be seen. 

I imagined getting closer to the cross. It would smell of old blood, rotting flesh and mostly of death. As you got closer despite the foul odor and the ugly scene, I imagined I would see a mirror, reflecting our lives, the sin Christ has suffered for us. If only you drew closer would you see. Afar, it is only a faint glimmer of a shape. 

Draw near.

Blindside

Scientists say that your immune system is compromised when you get little sleep. I unfortunately had first-hand experience on the matter. During exams, I had gotten little sleep over several days. Luckily I did not catch a cold, but I was met with a stye. Hordeolum, to be medical exact, is an infection of the sebaceous glands of Zeis at the base of the eyelashes, or an infection of the apocrine sweat glands of Moll. 

Simply put, I had a swollen eye with a slight fever. When I was young, getting a stye was nothing too bad. A couple of days sleep would have it healed. Unfortunately, it wasn't the case this time. The infection lasted several days without much improvement. I soon went to the doctor to have in drained, which hurt immensely. 

I could go on about how bad it was, but I wanted to share a thought over this experience.

I could barely see with my left eye. Then I thought about how difficult it would have been if both my eyes had been infected. The thought carried on further and I wondered what my life would have been like if I had gone completely blind in both of my eyes. 

I would have had a lot of adjustments to make, not to mention making a lot of devastated outcries to God. Perhaps I would have enhanced senses of hearing and smelling. All in all, however, I realized that I would become completely dependent on the mercy of others for me to live on. I would need help in finding shelter and food. I would need guidance in avoiding potential dangers. The other big part would be that I would need others to let me be. I could be abused and assaulted without much of self-protection to be done. 

I would become so dependent on God, perhaps pray each moment of the rest of my blind life. 

But I soon realized that I actually was blind at this moment. I was spiritually blind, and I needed the grace of God immediately.

Dream Sequence: Love

I am on the top bunk, the ceiling tightly close to me.
I notice you laying beside me, or more like laying over me.
You look up and ask, "Why this feeling of unrequited love?"
Before I can say a word, you begin to kiss me, seconds apart, repeatedly.
For a moment, I become embarrassed that others may be watching,
but soon I give myself up, letting my heart fly away to you.