Random Questions and Answers

1. Pick the year you die vs. Pick the way you die
- Although it would be nice to know when I will die as it will have me be ever so passionate in living life to the fullest, a year is too long of a time to be waiting. It could mean that I could die early January or live until the last day of December. By choosing the way of dying, I could choose to die peacefully in sleep. By doing so, ever day would be lived as if it were my last.

2. Have a stadium named after you vs. Have a university names after you
- If I was having a stadium named after me for having achieved great feats in athletics, I would definitely choose the stadium as that would mean that I were a stellar athlete. Knowing, however, that I am far from having talents that of a professional athlete, I think I would choose neither of the options, for I would not want my name to be left throughout ages and cultures. From dust to dust I say.

3. Have free Apple products forever vs. Have free Wifi wherever you go
- Wifi. Definitely. It would make traveling much easier. Plus, I don't really have that much desires for electronics.

4. Fulfill your biggest wish vs. Resolve your biggest regret
- Up until now, I can't say I have not made regretful decisions, but none of it were too big to leave me crippled. I guess I have been blessed in such forgetfulness. Thus, I would choose to fulfill my biggest wish. For quite some years, I had wanted to be the world's best bachelor, rich, famous, good-looking, charming, a devout Christian, and an overall great man to be with.

5. Have your own private island vs. Have your own private jet
- I am going to have to take the easy way out again. Private islands, private jets all seem too much to handle. I think I have done my share of flying in my younger years, and I don't think I'll visit the island too much. A vacation in some tropical island may be great once or twice in life. I am doubting the cost effectiveness of a private island. Is it possible to just have that much in my bank account?

6. Be able to read minds vs. Be able to travel at light speed
- I wrestled with the idea of reading minds. It would be a great skill to have, but at the same time, it seems too manipulative. I think it is important to have people be themselves, have parts unknown to others. I guess I hold privacy to a great extent. Plus, being able to travel at light speed would mean being able to travel at a lesser speed, boosting my athletic abilities. I'll dominate street ball.

7. Have $1 million in Amazon gift cards vs. Have $100,000 in cash
- I have had the pleasure of searching through the Amazon website, looking for gifts for various people, and well, it was tiring. Not to say that going shopping is any easier, but trying to spend a million dollars online doesn't really seem fun to do.

8. Be best friends forever with your favorite celebrity vs. Date your celebrity crush for only 2 years
- This one was probably the toughest one, and it was because I value friendship and love to an equal level. In that sense, I would choose friendship as the conditions state that the friendship will be forever. Love is definitely tempting, but two years as compared to forever seems minuscule. Could it be that dating is only for two years as the option to get married is possible? Eh. I'll leave it at that.

9. Have free gas for 25 years vs. Have your dream car
- My immediate answer would be the dream car, perhaps a Maserati, but 25 years is a long time. Cars may go out of style while gas doesn't. Maybe I am being too real, too old to be answering such dumb questions.

10. Be a ninja vs. Be a pirate
- Ninja. Everyday. I don't like the idea of having the sea as the mainstay of life. The isolation and the lack of freedom is suffocating. Plus, I love the idea of being hidden in plain sight. Something about the shadows covering me is exhilarating.

11. Continue on with your life vs. Restart your life
- Although this one is rather similar to question 4, the conditions are rather lacking. What are the benefits of restarting life? Do I have any memories of the past? Is it possible to live the same life only with minor changes? God has allowed a lot to be accomplished so far, and I don't want to throw it all away for just another same life to be lived. If any hint of previous life is left with restarting, I would choose to restart quite a few times. If not, I'm rather complacent with my current situation.

12. Live the life of fame and wealth vs. Live in Harry Potter's World
- Again, I think I'll have to rely on unmentioned conditions. If living in Harry Potter's World consists of the actual setting, all inclusive of the villain and chaos that ensued, I think the first option is definitely the better choice. If I were allowed the power of magic right here in this world, I would go for the magic, but only in conditions that there were very limited people with such blessings. Having many people would mean systems and laws governing magic usage. Having to live with two separate laws would be a headache. Having said all that, I guess the fame and wealth would be the easier choice.

13. Have the ability to read minds vs Have the ability to see the future
- A slight twist I guess. The question is a bit more fun as I had not chosen the mind reading ability before. The problem with seeing the future would be that it is damn frightening. The benefit of knowing what is to come will be awesome, but the price would be having to see all the tragedies as well. Then again, reading minds would be too much of a headache. Without knowing the others' thoughts, ignorance will be a bliss. I wouldn't have to worry about reacting to others constantly. My final answer would be that if I could choose to see the future whenever I wanted to, I would go for the second option.

Proposal Songs Maybe

그대 내게 올 때 - 커피소년
그런 사랑 - 뉴클리어스
청혼 - 노을
좋아요~ - 불독맨션
Say You Love Me - 정기고
Just the Way You are - Bruno Mars
I Do - 비
다행이다 - 이적
사랑해도 될까요 - 유리상자
아로하 - 쿨
Nothing Better - 브라운아이드소울
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran

Brotherhood in Danger

I have seen friendship broken, 
families burned and nations crumbled,
all because of the stupidity of men towards women. 
Why is brotherhood comparatively so flippant?

Black and White

Am I a part of the cure? Or am I a part of the disease?
Am I the light shining upon the world or the darkness that blinds?
Am I breathing in life? Or am I breathing out death?
Am I to be saved or to be forsaken?

Identity and Works

“But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." 1 Peter 2:9

If you ever start wondering what you had to do, remember first who you were.

Prayer (I) by George Herbert

Prayer (I) by George Herbert

Prayer the church's banquet, angel's age, 
God's breath in man returning to his birth, 
The soul in paraphrase, heart in pilgrimage, 
The Christian plummet sounding heav'n and earth 
Engine against th' Almighty, sinner's tow'r, 
Reversed thunder, Christ-side-piercing spear, 
The six-days world transposing in an hour, 
A kind of tune, which all things hear and fear; 
Softness, and peace, and joy, and love, and bliss, 
Exalted manna, gladness of the best, 
Heaven in ordinary, man well drest, 
The milky way, the bird of Paradise, 
Church-bells beyond the stars heard, the soul's blood, 
The land of spices; something understood. 

Praying for Ansan

He reminded me of the times I had been a foreigner in a land afar. The Bible session consisted of one to two kids and a teacher. She was probably a college student, and she really had no reason, no ties to continue on these lessons. For one, I was never consistent in showing up. I don't remember half of the materials she taught, but none of this really seemed to matter to her. If I had been a bit more mature, I could have taken the time to ask her about her journey with Christ. Even after I had graduated, now almost 10 years ago, I was reminded of her dedication. 

Here I am now, wondering if I should be a part of the volunteer team. I have probably my life's biggest exam coming up quickly. The place is hours far from where I am now. I barely even know the kids there, let alone the teachers. Yet, He keeps telling me that I should go, to the kids caught up in a strange country, with very few that really understand them. 

I can't be with them everyday, nor every week, but this is something I could make an effort in. What more could there be in missions but just to be with others, praising the name of Jesus? 

Excerpt from Intimate Moments with the Savior - Ken Gire

"A savior has been born. Heir to the glory the shepherds saw. Yet his only gold is that lent him by the straw. His only silver, borrowed from the moon. His only jewels, the left over light of the stars.

Excerpt from Intimate Moments with the Savior - Ken Gire

Lasting Sins

While taking some time to reflect and meditate on God's words, I saw how broken I was with respect to how God had originally made us. As it was common to have personal sins smear direct to generations and on, despite God's promise of never judging generations for their ancestors' sins, I wanted to get right. I wanted to leave only the good to my kids: optimism, patience, humility, joy and purity.

Hungering for Significance

What was something that I had trouble giving up?

My standing in the world, how others see me, my hunger for significance

“Does God control everthing?” Tim Keller

“Does God control everthing?” Tim Keller: https://youtu.be/MDbKCZodtZI

Just wanted to share quickly a sermon message. The message answered a lot of questions I had with regards to believing in Christ. I hope you find answers as I have myself. 

One sided Love

A man expressed his feelings to a girl, but she rejected him. He was upset, but he was not sad. His friends asked him why he didn't feel the sorrow. He simply replied, "Why should I be sad? I have lost someone that did not love me, but she has lost someone who loved her.

- Edited from an excerpt found floating online.

Winter Has Come

With winter, all is left bare, but as spring returns, leaves come only in the living.

Am I alive? Or will I stay barren as light comes?

UFC on My Mind

I have only started watching clips of UFC this year. McGregor and the spotlight he is receiving was exciting to watch. I was thinking about picking up martial arts next year when I have more free time, perhaps learn a couple of moves.

A good friend suggested Jiu Jitsu, as he was deep into it, jokingly saying we should compete someday. I said “jokingly” not only because he has been at it for years, but also because he was much bigger than me.

In watching all the martial arts competitions, there always were tiers, weight divisions for competitors. I am sure there are those that can overcome height, weight and even reach simply by technique and agility, hence the great appraisal for McGregor when he became champion of two different weight divisions, but it was all to a certain extent.

I am not short in Korean standards, but simply average height. I wanted to be taller, even still, but God hasn’t quite shown me a way to get taller yet. I wanted to be bigger and faster, to be greater among people, but as a medical student, I knew I have passed that day and age of growth. No matter how strong I would get, there would be somebody bigger and faster than me to outdo me.

I guess I got a bit frustrated and even angry at God. Why did his beloved people sit at the end, watch all the others reign fury upon the world?

Well, they story of David and Goliath was precisely the answer to my question. God overcame such limits, such barriers for men. The seemingly impossible was done with the help of God. I cannot say I know all the backstory to such magnificent wonder God had shown, but just the fact that it has been done provides enough encouragement to a man like me. God does provide. He does help us overcome our seeming giants. 

Becoming than Being

It’s been a while since I had any goals, just slowly floating across to distant islands, simply waiting out the storm, the waves. My mind would come up with all kinds of wonders, perhaps seen only in dreams. As the clouds scattered, however, all my dreams became visible, only some miles away on the land afar. Though the current may push or pull, I sought to become than be. A dream in sight, a goal in mind, desire of the heart. 

The World as Will and Representation – Arthur Schopenhauer

“The cause of laughter in every case is simply the sudden perception of the incongruity between a concept and the real objects which have been thought through it in some relation, and laughter itself is just the expression of this incongruity…all laughter then is occasioned by a paradox…this, briefly stated, is the true explanation of the ludicrous.” 

Arthur Schopenhauer – The World as Will and Representation.

I often respond with laughter to situations that do not seem fitting. Tragedies, betrayals, even to news of death. It is not a crazed manic laughter, but more so a scoff. 

High expectations meeting reality, finding incongruity. 

On the other hand, however, a joyous laughter should be found in low expectations met with great reality. 

I'm still hoping to find that joyous laughter in being in the presence of God, the glory that could not have been possibly expected in this life. 

애증

왜 그런지 모르겠지만 자꾸 보게 됩니다.

그렇게 자주 싸웠고, 서로를 헐뜯었고,

이해할 수 없는 거대한 벽을 사이에 둔 마냥

서로의 다름 가운데 고통스러움을 매일 느꼈는데

그래도 자꾸 눈에 띄입니다. 눈에 계속해서 밟힙니다.

마음이 울리며 신경이 쓰이는게 너무나도 싫습니다.

이쁜 거 하나 없는 너이지만 괜히 한 번 더 보고 싶어지는

그런 이상한 하루.

Children of Men - Miracle Cease Fire

Children of Men (9/10) Movie CLIP - Miracle Cease Fire (2006) HD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBzWTIexszQ

I remember seeing this movie back in high school. That was 10 years ago. I was reluctant in the choice, but a good friend of mine suggested it and pretty much pulled me into the theaters. The movie was fantastic, but I remember complaining about the movie for not being as action-packed as expected. It did leave me to my thoughts for days.

10 years older now, I found much more meaning in the movie. The clip is probably one of the most powerful scenes I have seen in movies.

It is also interesting while depressing to see how the movie still shines a message necessary in this day and age.

Warmth

I see fire. I see a blazing fire burning deep inside of you, in your eyes especially. The passion for Christ burns and I admire that. But it seems to devour everything around you. All the flaws, the imperfections are target for criticism. Perhaps something need to be burned, but more people need protection than burning judgment. Maybe you only need just a little wood, enough to contain the fire, have it simmer to gently light up the place, providing warmth for comfort. Jesus did not come with a blazing sword, rather, a loving embrace.

What is Real?

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12

“The law is only a shadow of the good things that are coming—not the realities themselves.” Hebrews 10:1a

Sometimes, I feel like philosophy was simply a study on the systematic search for God. In this short video on Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, the narrator explains a concept of the real world versus the shown world.

Video on “What is Real? (Plato’s Allegory of the Cave) / 8-bit Philosophy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVDaSgyi3xE

It is quite interesting to see how many of the thoughts and questions delivered from famous philosophers are parallel to many of the verses in the Bible. The world that we see, according to the Bible, is simply a reflection, a mere shadow of what really is. This place is what is temporary. This is the so-called Beta phase. What is real shall be soon, the coming of His kingdom.

As to answer the question of the narrator in the video, yes, we will. We will soon lose our shackles of perception and truly see God in his throne.  

The Hound Of Heaven by Francis Thompson

The Hound Of Heaven by Francis Thompson

I fled Him down the nights and down the days
I fled Him down the arches of the years
I fled Him down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind, and in the midst of tears
I hid from him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped and shot precipitated
Adown titanic glooms of chasme d hears
From those strong feet that followed, followed after
But with unhurrying chase and unperturbe d pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat, and a Voice beat,
More instant than the feet:
All things betray thee who betrayest me.

I pleaded, outlaw--wise by many a hearted casement,
curtained red, trellised with inter-twining charities,
For though I knew His love who followe d,
Yet was I sore adread, lest having Him,
I should have nought beside.
But if one little casement parted wide,
The gust of his approach would clash it to.
Fear wist not to evade as Love wist to pursue.
Across the margent of the world I fled,
And troubled the gold gateways of the stars,
Smiting for shelter on their clange d bars,
Fretted to dulcet jars and silvern chatter
The pale ports of the moon.

I said to Dawn --- be sudden, to Eve --- be soon,
With thy young skiey blossoms heap me over
From this tremendous Lover.
Float thy vague veil about me lest He see.
I tempted all His servitors but to find
My own betrayal in their constancy,
In faith to Him, their fickleness to me,
Their traitorous trueness and their loyal deceit.
To all swift things for swiftness did I sue,
Clung to the whistling mane of every wind,
But whether they swept, smoothly fleet,
The long savannahs of the blue,
Or whether, thunder-driven,
They clanged His chariot thwart a heaven,
Plashy with flying lightnings round the spurn of their feet,
Fear wist not to evade as Love wist to pursue.
Still with unhurrying chase and unperturbed pace
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
Came on the following feet, and a Voice above their beat:
Nought shelters thee who wilt not shelter Me.

I sought no more that after which I strayed
In face of Man or Maid.
But still within the little childrens' eyes
Seems something, something that replies,
They at least are for me, surely for me.
But just as their young eyes grew sudden fair,
With dawning answers there,
Their angel plucked them from me by the hair.
Come then, ye other children, Nature's
Share with me, said I, your delicate fellowship.
Let me greet you lip to lip,
Let me twine with you caresses,
Wantoning with our Lady Mother's vagrant tresses,
Banqueting with her in her wind walled palace,
Underneath her azured dai:s,
Quaffing, as your taintless way is,
From a chalice, lucent weeping out of the dayspring.

So it was done.
I in their delicate fellowship was one.
Drew the bolt of Nature's secrecies,
I knew all the swift importings on the wilful face of skies,
I knew how the clouds arise,
Spume d of the wild sea-snortings.
All that's born or dies,
Rose and drooped with,
Made them shapers of mine own moods, or wailful, or Divine.
With them joyed and was bereaven.
I was heavy with the Even,
when she lit her glimmering tapers round the day's dead sanctities.
I laughed in the morning's eyes.
I triumphed and I saddened with all weather,
Heaven and I wept together,
and its sweet tears were salt with mortal mine.
Against the red throb of its sunset heart,
I laid my own to beat
And share commingling heat.

But not by that, by that was eased my human smart.
In vain my tears were wet on Heaven's grey cheek.
For ah! we know what each other says,
these things and I; In sound I speak,
Their sound is but their stir, they speak by silences.
Nature, poor step-dame, cannot slake my drouth.
Let her, if she would owe me
Drop yon blue-bosomed veil of sky
And show me the breasts o' her tenderness.
Never did any milk of hers once bless my thirsting mouth.
Nigh and nigh draws the chase, with unperturbe d pace
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
And past those noise d feet, a Voice comes yet more fleet:
Lo, nought contentst thee who content'st nought Me.

Naked, I wait thy Love's uplifted stroke. My harness, piece by piece,
thou'st hewn from me
And smitten me to my knee,
I am defenceless, utterly.
I slept methinks, and awoke.
And slowly gazing, find me stripped in sleep.
In the rash lustihead of my young powers,
I shook the pillaring hours,
and pulled my life upon me.
Grimed with smears,
I stand amidst the dust o' the mounded years--
My mangled youth lies dead beneath the heap.
My days have crackled and gone up in smoke,
Have puffed and burst like sunstarts on a stream.
Yeah, faileth now even dream the dreamer
and the lute, the lutanist.
Even the linked fantasies in whose blossomy twist,
I swung the Earth, a trinket at my wrist,
Have yielded, cords of all too weak account,
For Earth, with heavy grief so overplussed.
Ah! is thy Love indeed a weed,
albeit an Amaranthine weed,
Suffering no flowers except its own to mount?
Ah! must, Designer Infinite,
Ah! must thou char the wood 'ere thou canst limn with it ?
My freshness spent its wavering shower i' the dust.
And now my heart is as a broken fount,
Wherein tear-drippings stagnate, spilt down ever
From the dank thoughts that shiver upon the sighful branches of my
mind.

Such is. What is to be ?
The pulp so bitter, how shall taste the rind ?
I dimly guess what Time in mists confounds,
Yet ever and anon, a trumpet sounds
From the hid battlements of Eternity.
Those shaken mists a space unsettle,
Then round the half-glimpse d turrets, slowly wash again.
But not 'ere Him who summoneth
I first have seen, enwound
With glooming robes purpureal; Cypress crowned.
His name I know, and what his trumpet saith.
Whether Man's Heart or Life it be that yield thee harvest,
Must thy harvest fields be dunged with rotten death ?

Now of that long pursuit,
Comes at hand the bruit.
That Voice is round me like a bursting Sea:
And is thy Earth so marred,
Shattered in shard on shard?
Lo, all things fly thee, for thou fliest me.
Strange, piteous, futile thing;
Wherefore should any set thee love apart?
Seeing none but I makes much of Naught (He said).
And human love needs human meriting ---
How hast thou merited,
Of all Man's clotted clay, the dingiest clot.
Alack! Thou knowest not
How little worthy of any love thou art.
Whom wilt thou find to love ignoble thee,
Save me, save only me?
All which I took from thee, I did'st but take,
Not for thy harms,
But just that thou might'st seek it in my arms.
All which thy childs mistake fancies as lost,
I have stored for thee at Home.
Rise, clasp my hand, and come.
Halts by me that Footfall.
Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstretched caressingly?
Ah, Fondest, Blindest, Weakest,
I am He whom thou seekest.
Thou dravest Love from thee who dravest Me.

Happy Birthday Mom

Happy birthday mom! 
Despite the date, I am glad you are not a witch.
I know I don't say it as much as I should,
so I will say it here as it is a little less embarrassing.
I love you so much, thank you for being family. 

Dilemma of the Fallen Fire

“Answer me, O Lord, answer me, that this people may know that you, O Lord, are God, and that you have turned their hearts back.” 1 Kings 18:37

For Your sake, let the people know that it is You who govern the nations, the wind and the fire, all that is in being. Such was the prayer from Elijah. His confrontation with priests of Baal was not one of power struggles. It was simply to show the lost Israelites just who they truly were.

Such victory was short lasted, however. Many were slain in the name of the Lord immediately following the miraculous showing of His presence. The governing powers were still at large, especially aimed upon seeking death of Elijah. I can’t help but wonder what exactly crossed the mind of Elijah moments after fire had thundered down into the altar. 

Reality Departure

Against the darkness that hath laid before my path
One ridden with thorns of history and mistakes
Once leather shoes now more so rock from dust and mud
Witness as to the lonely walks into the abyss

A gentle surprise you were, glimmering ever so quietly
A company never expected, rather cautiously accepted
Eyes shined like the midnight moon, silent but ever jubilant
The tender touch through the hands, seeping into my heart

A reminder of a place once called home, the final peace
You came with the falling leaves, past the winter snow
Signs of new life, a new hope, one of happiness ever sought
Perhaps now can I rest in your arms, walking together into eternity

Pendulum Thoughts

The physics of a pendulum is one of the simpler systems to predict. It is the first few problems to solve while learning basic physics. You have tension, mass, gravitational acceleration and negligible air friction to play around before solving the questions.

Now it is easy to think that 1+1 would be 2, but once you have two pendulums attached to one another, it produces random motion such that it is utterly chaotic. 

Of course modern physicist would be able to predict and utilize such behavior, but it takes time and effort. Just having one of the simplest systems interacting with each other, just two for that matter, calculations becomes wild, while predictions are harder to achieve. 

Well, then, how utterly chaotic can two people become?

Just a thought.

Reference: https://youtu.be/WepOorvo2I4

PS: and yes, I am a nerd. 

Prayer from Chloe

Prayer for Peter!!

Father, I am weak but YOU ARE STRONG! God, your ways are higher. Thank you for loving us first and helping us love you. Thank you for showing yourself so powerfully in our lives. God help me pray for Peter with authority today.

For the exam tomorrow, I pray that he'll do his best according to Your will, that Your presence will surround Peter powerfully and all throughout the exam. Help him fully be with You. He will not stress out nor will he become super nervous. God you've god him! Help Peter turn this oh-everyone-takes-this-exam-anyway-thing into yet another chance to bring joy and glory to Your sight.

God we praise you. We love you. Let us celebrate today with expectations and thankfulness for You are constantly working and looking after us. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

Psalm 67

May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us, Selah that your ways may be known on earth, your salvation among all nations.

May the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you.
May the nations be glad and sing for joy, for you rule the peoples justly and guide the nations of the earth. SelahMay the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you.

Then the land will yield its harvest, and God, our God, will bless us.
God will bless us, and all the ends of the earth will fear him. 

Psalm 67

Desperate Hope

I feel like I have been writing a lot less, instead, posting the works of others.
I do admit I may be getting lazy in excuse of being busy, but some works are simply amazing.

http://www.womeninchrist.org/wic_com/wdwnzrph.html

Here is a short story on the widow encountered by Elijah. The explanation of action deriving from desperate hope to real faith is something surely to be noted. 

1 Kings 17 for your reference. 

Random Quotes from

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." - Ernest Hemingway

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." - Anton Chekhov

"Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility." - William Wordsworth

Missionary Couples

Like Priscilla and Aquila / Romans 16:3-4

Philosophical Exercise #5840923

"The Philosophy of Fallout - Wisecrack Edition"
https://youtu.be/C-5tEt2CUro

The video is just a random one I watched on Youtube. I have not played the game, and I probably never will, but it got me thinking about a few philosophical ideas.

1. Marketing power masking reality - The power of advertisement and propaganda really does its job in masking the horrifying reality, similar to how the devil got us blind. 

2. Technology as good, always - For some time now, it seems that technological advancement is a positive factor, something that should be achievement more and more. What is it all for? For humanity? I can list a few hundred negative sides of technological advancement on top of my head.

3. Being happy as the ultimate goal - If you are happy, you become rather obedient to the higher powers governing. Satisfaction, however, leads to laziness and proneness to stay put. This reduces the chance for improvement. Thus, the ones suffering will always be suffering. This ties in with point #1 quite well. So, I dare say, "don't be happy, make changes."

4. Hunger for power will never stop - Hegemony is probably human nature. We long to be better than one another. When will it stop? War in history seems to be constantly repeating itself. What did Jesus say about this? Oh wait, yeah, stop being self-serving. 

Warrior

Nobody said it was easy, but nobody said it would be this hard.
The pain of leaving families behind, the sorrow of mistakes long past.
The recurring dreams of that which was, and the reality of no return.

Yet the face of a warrior is hidden deep within the ironclad mask.
Strength and honor in each hand, faith inscribed at heart.
Hope in mind, he charges on, tears to sweat, heavenbound. 

Judgement Seat Empty

"Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person's faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and give thanks to God. 

For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. 

If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 

You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God's judgement seat. It is written: "'As surely as I live, says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.'" 

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God."

Romans 14:1-12

If I had this down in my heart, if I had memorized it and learned the true meaning of it deep within my soul, would I have had such arguments and disputes? Who was I to judge and frown upon? Yet, I still do. 

성수역 12시

지하철을 기다리며
문득 너와 함께했다면
행복했을 그 날들의 상상
소소한 이야기를 나누며
진정한 친구이자
기쁨의 동역자 되었을 너
그 땐 몰랐던 것들이
어찌 실수가 되고
어찌 잘못이 되어야 하는 걸까
아쉬운 마음은 뒤로
혹 새로운 만남을 기대하며
오늘도 역시 기다리며

One Body

“For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” Romans 12:4-8

As I am nearly my graduation, the jump into society, I feel more pressure to be responsible. A big part of that, to me at least, is being financially stable. Actually, I have this growing desire to be well off. As a child, a daily allowance was all that was needed to be pretty satisfied. With my eyes seeing more of the world, the power of money and the influence it can bring, I have been wanting to be more famous and wealthy.

At first, I had thought being wealthy was not really God’s desire for man. As I got to know more about Him, I realized that it is less so much about how we are spiritually, rather than our current life situations. Of course, faith and works need to go in tandem, but being rich or poor didn’t seem like such a big issue as I had seen it before.

Thus came my question, why not be rich then? If being rich or poor does not have much bearing in God’s love and will for us, I thought it would be better to be rich, having a bit more luxury and comfort, be a little more free in giving.

As I shared this desire, a pastor simply said to pray about it more. He also added that God has specific plans for us all, the best plans laid specifically and perfect for individuals.

Out of all the people in this world, not everyone is a Christian. Would it be too much to ask? I was not asking for wealth beyond legend. Plus, it would be just one more person with a bit more money.

Then I came across this verse. It was not the first time I had seen it, but I saw it in a different light. We really were one body. The same is mentioned in 1 Corinthians 12. “Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ” (Verse 12). As with the human body, one cell acting out would be instantly killed by the immune function. Cells actually even have a self-destruct function for when it fails to do its function. A cell that survives despite having left its originally function, is in essence, a cancer cell. It would destroy the entire body. Do you remember those horror movies that depict body parts hanging out in the wrong places? Well, medically, it is real. It is called a teratoma: random functioning cells growing in random places.

I admit it. I still want to be rich, not even that, simply a bit well off. I know it may not be God’s will for me to have financial stability. I will still pray about it, perhaps my prayer would soon change as I grow more mature spiritually. 

Wonderful Days

That the most wonderful of it all is that I can sit down in front of His words and simply seek to follow it. Some days may be filled with divine intervention, some days not, but such is the present, already but not yet. 

Whether rich or poor, the most plain a life it may be, living as called from God is the greatest blessing. I simply hope to realize it all the earlier. 

I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud by William Wordsworth

I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud by William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud 
That floats on high o'er vales and hills, 
When all at once I saw a crowd, 
A host, of golden daffodils; 
Beside the lake, beneath the trees, 
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine 
And twinkle on the milky way, 
They stretched in never-ending line 
Along the margin of a bay: 
Ten thousand saw I at a glance, 
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they 
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: 
A poet could not but be gay, 
In such a jocund company: 
I gazed - and gazed - but little thought 
What wealth the show to me had brought: 

For oft, when on my couch I lie 
In vacant or in pensive mood, 
They flash upon that inward eye 
Which is the bliss of solitude; 
And then my heart with pleasure fills, 
And dances with the daffodils.

Collab: MayFly, Part 2

[GrasDeo]

실기와 필기에 필요한 건 작은 용기와 끈기

그리고 하염 없는 여러분의 온기

 

[MayFly]

그리고 주님을 위한 동기

내 삶 주위 공기에 뿜는 그분의 향기

 

[GrasDeo]

그분의 발 앞에 모두 모여 옹기종기

 

[MayFly]

살아계신 말씀 앞에 들어 올려 나의 백기

Directions from God?

We often find ourselves before life situations and wonder what the will of God may be. In reading the Bible, it seems quite obvious what God wills for his followers. In the case for Elijah, God sends Elijah to Zarephath.

“Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and dwell there. Behold, I have commanded a widow there to feed you.” 1 Kings 17:9

At first glance, it is easy to think to ourselves, why does God tell him exactly what to do? Why not me? Questions such as “what job should I take,” “where should I live,” and “whom should I marry?” are all valid questions before God. At a second look however, plus a bit of research, it is quite clear that God’s command is nowhere near clear command.

Elijah right before this moment was told to hide himself in brook Cherith. Zarephath, from Cherith, was a bit less than 80 miles, a good two to three day journey. God had not said anything about the journey to Zarephath. He had not mentioned a thing about food along the way, nor thoughts on shelter. Sure, the journey could have been something that was familiar to Elijah, but Zarephath was known to have been a developed city from the active trade due well established harbor. Imagine how many widows there could have been in a city crowded by many people coming and going.

Upon closer inspection, God’s commanded had not even specified a time of stay. Yet, Elijah walked on towards Zarephath. He met his widow that was to feed him, and he stayed there until the time set for Him from God.

It could very well be that God really is not speaking to us with specific directions. It also could be that we are so used to weighing out what is in front of us, too much so that we neglect the vague messages left for us from God. Fear hinders us from taking the steps. A lack of faith in God’s everlasting grace stops us amidst the unknowingness.

Open my ears and my eyes, more so my fear stricken heart, that I may courageously walk upon the path you have set before me. 

"Yesterday" by Atmosphere

"Yesterday" by Atmosphere

I thought I saw you yesterday
But I didn't stop, 'cause you was walkin' the opposite way
I guess I could've shouted out your name
But even if it was you, I don't know what I would say
We could sit and reminisce about the old school
Maybe share a cigarette, because we both fools
Chop it up and compare perspectives
Life, love, stress and set-backs, yes
So you could tell me how hard you had it
And you could show me all the scars to back it
And we could analyze each complaint
Break it down and explain these mistakes I make
I like to tangle up the strings of the puppetry
But you knew me back when I was a younger me
You seen Sean in all types of light
And I've been meanin' to ask you if I'm doin' alright

Yesterday
Was that you? Looked just like you
Strange thangs my imagination might do
Take a breath, reflect on what we been through
Or am I just goin' crazy 'cause I miss you?

I'm shook, I know, I pushed when I should've pulled
Took it all back if I could, I put that on my soul
And I would make a top-notch good listener
If you could block-off a little time out to give it here
Since we went our separate paths
I've hit a couple snags that remind me of the past
I can't front, I'm havin' a blast
But damned if I ain't afraid of how long it's gonna last
Sittin' here wishin' we could kick it
Give me your opinions, I do miss the criticisms
I didn't mean to be distant, make a visit
I'll wait up and keep the coffee brewin' in the kitchen
But who am I jokin' with?
There's no way that you and I will ever get to re-open it
It doesn't matter, this is more than love
And maybe if I'm lucky, get to see you out the corner of

Yesterday
Was that you? Looked just like you
Strange thangs my imagination might do
Take a breath, reflect on what we been through
Or am I just goin' crazy 'cause I miss you?

And when you left, I didn't see it comin'
I guess I slept, it ain't like you was runnin'
You crept out the front door slow
And I was so self-absorbed I didn't even know
And by the time I looked up it was booked up
Put it all behind you, the bad and the good stuff
A whole house full of dreams and steps
I think you'd be impressed with the pieces I kept
You disappeared but the history is still here
It's why I try not to cry over spilt beer
I can't even get mad that you're gone
Leavin' me was probably the best thing you ever taught me
I'm sorry, it's official
I was a fist-full, I didn't keep it simple
Chip on the shoulder, anger in my veins
Had so much hatred, now it brings me shame
Never thought about the world without you
And I promise that I'll never say another bad word about you
I thought I saw you yesterday
But I knew it wasn't you, 'cause you passed away, dad

Looked just like you
Strange thangs my imagination might do
Take a breath, reflect on what we been through
Or am I just goin' crazy 'cause I miss you?

김양재의 [절대순종] 에서

전신에 암이 퍼진 무연고자가 응급실에 실려 왔습니다. 술 냄새와 악취를 풍기는 그는 끊임없이 욕을 퍼부으며 응급실을 소란스럽게 했습니다. 한 달 뒤 다시 중환자실에 실려 온 그는 욕창이 전신에 퍼졌고 상처에서는 고름이 흘렀습니다. 그는 무의식 상태에서도 자꾸 음식 공급 튜브를 뽑으려 했습니다. 이런 그에게 20년 전 헤어졌다는 아내가 찾아왔습니다. 여인은 고름을 닦아 내고, 튜브로 음식을 공급하고, 틈나는 대로 성경을 읽어 주며 기도했습니다. 그녀를 사랑하다며 끈질기게 쫓아다녀 결혼했던 남편은 둘째를 임신한 아내를 버리고 외도해 집을 나갔고, 부인은 혼자 두 아이를 키웠습니다. 죽음을 앞둔 남편을 둘러 싸고 그녀는 두 아이와 기도했습니다. "하나님, 이 사람이 제게 주었던 사랑과 그 사랑으로 받은 소중한 아이들 덕분에 행복했습니다. 이제 떠나보내야 하지만 언제나 사랑했다고, 고마웠다고 전하고 싶습니다." 그 기도에 중환자실에 있던 모두 눈물을 흘렸습니다. 기도가 끝난 뒤 남자는 호흡기를 떼고 숨을 거뒀습니다.

진노의 그릇으로 끝날 가정이 한 여인으로 인해 긍휼의 그릇이 되었습니다. 힘들었던 20년의 시간도, 남편도 원망하지 않고 감사로 받았기에 그 여인은 하나님의 영광을 나타내는 귀한 그릇이 되었습니다. 이것이 하나님의 선택입니다. 좋은 환경이나 대단한 업적이 아니라 어떤 일에도 감사하며 하나님의 옳으심을 인정하는 것이 그분의 영광을 담는 가장 귀한 그릇입니다.

[절대 순종] - 김양재

License Exams

CPX/OSCE - 10.26
KMLE - 1.5-6

The Gospel of the Coming Kingdom

For some time now, a constant message of the Gospel has been fed to me. Small group sessions are about it. Quiet time message is on Romans and, to top it off, there is a new Benhur movie coming out.

As a Christian, it is easy to come across the word “Gospel” many times, but no one really sits you down to teach it.

Creation, sin, the impending doom, God’s promise of salvation, the coming kingdom, death, resurrection and the end.

This is the short summary of the world that we live in according to the Bible. The death of the world as well as the death of self. Actual death and the spiritual death. There are many more topics of discussion and education, but for now, I will focus on the coming kingdom.

In essence, Jesus states that the kingdom of God is already here as seen in Matthew 12:28.

“But if it is by the Spirit of God that I cast out demons, then the kingdom of God has come upon you.”

Israelites back then expected a savior to rise, one that will overthrow governments and oppression. God had planned otherwise. Thus, when Jesus spoke of the kingdom, it was nothing as limited to the world, rather a spiritual concept that shall seep through and change the intellectual as well as the physical.

The kingdom is here, and we are free to enter it. Or, more like we are allowed to be a part of it. His kingdom consists of his reign. That is what the kingdom is all about. Through the cross, we have been reconciled. We are able to enter in his governance.

That is precisely what Jesus was talking about. We imagine a sudden change in our lives to happen, like a shift in the Matrix, life circumstances changing drastically in our favor. It might. It definitely can, but the focus is in our constant communication, a steady walk with God.

Now coming back to the question of what is the Gospel. What is it? It is the good news that we are not able to be with God, to walk with Him in his kingdom. 

기다림

안녕이라는 그 작은 말 하나에

세상을 다 가진 자의 웃음과

깊은 절망에 있는 자의 슬픔이

공존할 수 있다는 신비.

너와 헤어진 후, 지나가는 시간 속에

수많은 만남과 이별들이 있었어.

그 모든 것을 뒤로한지 얼마가 지났을까?

문득 네 생각이 나더라,

너를 기다려야겠다는 마음과 함께.

다시 만날 수 없을 걸 잘 알지만

혹시라도 너의 상처에

도움이 될 수 있진 않을까,

그 작은 희망 하나만으로도

이제는 아마 영원을 기다릴 수 있을 것 같아.

김경섭의 [리더십의 고지 이렇게 점령하라] 에서

무디 목사가 잠시 휴식을 취하러 스코트랜드의 한 마을에 갔을 때, 이를 알게 된 마을 사람들의 간청에 못 이겨 집회를 인도하게 되었습니다. 놀랍게도 병자들이 낫고, 죄인이 회개하고, 심령이 뒤집어지는 은혜의 역사가 있었습니다. 사람들은 기뻐했지만, 무디 목사는 "기도 없이는 부흥이 없는데, 휴식하러 온 곳에서 큰 부흥을 경험하니 이해가 안 된다."라고 의아해했습니다.

그러자 그 지역 교회의 목사가 말했습니다. "저희 교회에 17년 동안 전심 마비로 누워 있는 형제가 10년간 해 온 기도가 무디 목사님을 초청해 영적 부흥을 일으키는 것이었습니다." 무디 목사가 그에게 찾아가 그동안 사탄의 시험이 없었는지 묻자, 그는 이렇게 말했습니다. "사탄은 제게 '하나님은 안 계신다. 하나님이 계신다면 네가 17년이나 누워 있을 리 없다.'라고 속삭입니다. 또 하나님이 계시더라도 나를 사랑하지 않는다고 하지요. 나를 사랑하신다면, 왜 고쳐 주지 않으시겠냐고요. 그때마다 나는 '사탄아, 네 설명은 그럴듯하지만, 내게는 예수의 사랑이 각인되어 있다. 예수 이름으로 명하노니 떠나가라.'라고 합니다."

부흥은 그냥 이뤄지지 않습니다. 예상치 못한 이 마을의 놀라운 부흥은 전신이 마비된 성도가 10년 동안 해 온 간절한 기도 덕이었습니다. 힘들고 어려운 현실 속에서 우리가 의지할 수 있는 분은 하나님밖에 없습니다.

[리더십의 고지 이렇게 점령하라]  - 김경섭

by Drazool from reddit, on Pixel Dungeon

She stopped, frozen, at the heavy oaken door, and eyed the light emerging from the door's borders. From some neglected corner of her mind, recognition. 

Sunlight.. she muttered to herself. How long had it been? In the eternal gloom of the Dungeon, she had long ago given up on tracking the days. The light illuminated disused memories. She remembered her training, long days of arduous practice with 'rang and blade, of log keeping, and map making. She remembered the mantras and disciplines intended to allow her to retain some semblance of sanity as she plumbed the unknown depths. What she didn't remember, couldn't remember, were people. 

She remembered their voices, their commands, and their warnings, but not their faces, nor their touch.

Pain had trained her. Remember the dangers, always the dangers. Rabid animals, undead, insane brigands, and cunning ninjas had fallen before her. She had cut, burned, stabbed, and poisoned her way through abominations, demons, clockwork abominations, and insane necromancers. Even Gods had fallen before her. 

She had tracked Yog through Heaven and Hell, before silencing his corrupting whispers forever. Even then, there was work to be done. Yog was a servant of one even more occult and powerful than himself. 

So she delved further, deeper. The old wizard's journal, still radiating power, had shown her the path. With the magic in its pages, she traveled to a wild new land, a tiny village ensconced in a mighty forest. There, she finally tracked the evil to its labyrinthine source, and vanquished all who stood before her.

Now, in the faint daylight, she examined herself in a pool of cavewater. Her body was warped almost beyond recognition by magic. Her skin, pale to the point of translucency, was caked with dirt, grime and soot. Her necklace of rings could pay a kings ransom, and her holster of wands contained enough magical energy to lay waste to armies. She gripped her weapons, literally fine enough to cut down the very gods. Truly, she had become master of this dark realm, this wasteland of despair.

She had chased evil to the far corners of the multiverse, but now she was paralyzed with fear. What if they reject her? What if they don't? How could she interact with there people anymore? Hell, she had lost count of the times death had claimed her, only to be pulled from its icy grasp.

No, there was no place for her in the light, not anymore. She turned from the meager light, and descended into the dark, perhaps for the last time.

by drazool from reddit - on Pixel Dungeon

Fixer-Upper

Jesus didn't come with a blazing sword.
He came with a hammer and some nails. 

Get to Know Him

I’m not doing this because I have free time. I do this because it is the only lasting meaning in life. You say you are busy, that you have no time. God is more important than what you are doing right now. Stop making excuses.

Or instead of saying you don’t have time, just say you don’t really know, that you don’t know why God is so important.

There is a big difference between ignorance and unknowing. Open up your mind, open up your heart. Make the effort to learn more about Him.