Preclinic Dedication 2

위축되지 말자.

내가 누구인지 잊지 말자.

그리스도인인 나는 예수님과 교제하러 왔고, 사랑을 전하려한다.

학생인 나는 환자를 보러왔고, 그들을 통해 배우러왔다.

그 누구보다도 열심히, 후회도 없이 당당하게.

주께서 나를 의롭게 여기시며 나를 사랑하거늘 다른 어느 누구를 두려워 할 것인가?

내 안에 있는 하나님의 빛이 이길지, 세상에 침투되어 있는 어둠이 이길지.

싸워보자.

Preclinic Dedication

I will gladly lay down my life to become what you want me to become. 
Though no joy may follow this instant, knowing You is more than enough for me

Collab: ReClaim, Part 8

[GrasDeo]

‘ey, yo. I’m lying down in my room,

Probably ‘cuz I ate a big batch of ‘shroom.

‘ey man, I just wanna dream,

but the cold society simply cuts like laser beam

난 지금 너무 졸려, 무한한 책임에 난 너무 쫄려

세상의 유혹에 난 다시 홀려, 내 정신이 완전 팔려

[ReClaim]

Yo I’m lying down in my bed, its two thirty five

Give me a high five from across the world

We don’t need to be physically next to each other,

‘cuz we close like that, we spiritual brothers

Like Johanthan and David, ye

[GrasDeo]

This is freestylin’. I ain’t even thinking right now.

오늘 왠일로 은택이가 랩을 해주네

오늘은 무슨 일로 흘러 나오네

새벽 두시반에 깨어 있어서 정신을 놓아버렸네

Oh 그는 잠도 잘 안오는 우울한 맨, blues brother, ye

‘ey yo Imma keep this flow going

‘cuz you just too slow going yeah.

난 다시 달려 너무 후달려

I’m locked up in this kingdom called boredom

My bro of flow I’mma go get that dough

‘cuz I wanna be filthy rich for the Lord

[ReClaim]

Yo 학교에서 할게 너무나도 많아

히브리어, Spiritual Formation, New Testament

그리고 주일과 금요일, 토요일마다 사역.

할게 너무 많아서 바빠 죽겠어, 몸은 하나

바빠도 There’s always room for procrastination in this nation.

Yeah I bring segregation to my own self,

and the lump in my brain, Schizophrenic.

Yeah I don’t even know what I’m saying

시간이 너무 늦었어. 이젠 좀 자야겠어 yeah

Sixty

My dad is now 60 years old in Korean age. He still has nearly two years before he becomes actually 60 in the American sense as he was born in December (if you don't understand what I'm talking about, you probably are not Korean enough :P). My mom is fast approaching that age as well, while I'm looking to be 30 in upcoming years. 

My father had never talked about money with us brothers. Recently in the past couple of years, however, he has made us increasingly aware of the financial status of the family. My dad has about 6 years left of work before he has to retire. He says that he will find another job for several more years, but he has given my brother I some responsibility, some "burden" to support the parents. 

I actually don't mind at all. I actually feel it is necessary for me to support my parents as they grow older, but I too have started to become aware of money. I had never thought about money seriously. I never thought I had plenty, but I was never in need. Somehow, I managed to mesh that up with my "faith" and started to believe that I would never need to worry about it at all, because God would "provide."

Of course God will provide, but that doesn't give me the luxury and comfort of doing whatever I want. Yes, a part of me wishes for lots of money, maybe even perhaps meet someone with lots of money, but I know that deep down inside, money and luxury itself is not why I started to think about it. 

I guess the biggest problem circles right back to my parents growing older. I had witnessed my grandfather pretty wither away in the hospital bed. He was nearly immobile for the last months of his life, and I can honestly say that I still try to avoid thinking about the whole experience. Somewhere in my mind, I started to intertwine that with my parents. I guess I'm sorely afraid that my parents will go through the same issue. 

Every time I head home, I see that my parents have gotten a bit older since the last time I saw them. I see them with new back pains and fevers. I see them with atrophied muscles and thicker wrinkles. I see them wasting away, and I hurts my heart to see it all. 

I am afraid that I may not be able to provide for them when they are in need. I am afraid that I may not be there when they need me. I am afraid that I will lose them soon. 

Life Choices

'ey yo, I think about my life choices, the voices
All the nice houses and Rolls Royces
I long to be famous,
riding high on that broomstick, nimbus
Constantly runnin' and, shotgunnin' and
At some point i stop and ask,
"what was my task?"
I take a sip from the flask of life,
taking off my mask
I get down beside the crown,
the crown of thorns, as I cut off my horns,
saying Immanuel, God with us

Sung to "You are My All in All"

What is it I wanna say?
That my passion is a long gone day.

That i am losing track, stepping back,
losing all that I once had.

Maybe you're no longer my number one agenda,
hoping it doesn't fade like another propaganda.

Still, all my memories slide and point.
Screw the place or time. Here's what I'll say

Collab: ReClaim, Part 7

[GrasDeo]
Seoul's soulful, 
ghouls in every corner
holes in hearts, 
waiting to be filled 
with bowls full of money rolls

[ReClaim]
Money rolls, cars roll. 
We all hustle and are too busy with the lawls. 
Where‘s Mr. Nice guy‘s genuine smile, 
Mrs. Laundry‘s slow cook mile 
and the kid‘s old school style?

Time to Shine

I know you may think poetry is out of touch

And that Hip to the hop is where it’s at

But there’s a reason why I write so much

So take a listen to my latest skat

You may think that I got no flow

And that I’m just another shade of gray

But here’s the deal, it's the reason I glow

I find my own passion, my own way

I find joy in what I do ‘cuz I define my own cool

I’m not gonna be just another Dr. Seuss Who

So quit trying to get me off my stool

주일예배

언젠간 내가 사랑하는 목사님께서 말씀하셨다. 
주일 예배는 그토록 보고싶던, 사랑하는 예수 만나는 시간이 되어야 한다고. 

Known Stupidity

Call me a fool, but if believing in something that you cannot see, if Christianity is something that is not real, but allows people to live their lives to the fullest, to love, to embrace, to forgive, to enjoy overall, I would rather stay a fool. 

타이밍

언젠간 너는 내게 사랑은 타이밍이라 했었지. 그 땐 별 말을 하지 않고 묵묵히 들었는데 오늘에서야 답변이 생각났어.

웃기지마

타이밍? 그건 핑계야. 하나님의 전부라고 해도 과언이 아닌 사랑을 그깟 시간에 국한지어서 상황의 흐름에 맡겨 버리는 건 무책임한 거라고. 그냥 마음이 떠나간 것이겠지. 정말 사랑이라면 그 어떤 상황과 순간 속에서도 언제나 다시 시작할 수 있는 용기와 도전, 끈기와 희생이 생길 거라 생각해.

미련은 없어. 단지 그런 말을 할 때 다시 생각해주길 바라는 거야. 

Chasm Between the Heart and the Mind

We strangers everyday

Children at heart

Each to their own way

Longing for love to start

Though lonliness accompanies

Waiting for a hand

The cold intensifies

Desperate, trying to stand

Almost Amos

"This is what the Sovereign LORD showed me: a basket of ripe fruit. 'What do you see, Amos?' he asked." Amos 8:1-2b

Out of the many in that time, he chose to speak to a shepherd. Or was it that no one else was listening? God seems so eager to converse with us. 

I had always thought I needed to pray for the good of all, but I'm slowly realizing that God is rather exclusive. If He so desires, He could change the world for one man. 

Perhaps I could make Wonju his favorite town. Perhaps I could make our family his favored people. Perhaps I could be his love. 

James 4:13-17

"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.' As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. James 4:13-17

The Markings of a Cross

I have no intention of changing the world anymore. I simply want to be changed myself. Little by little, my heart is marked by your cross, for you deserve my very best.