Opportunities and Opportunities

"Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." Ephesians 5:15-17

God seems extra busy lately. 

Couple friends of mine have shown interest in attending church. I was told my grandmother showed extra effort in singing praises. One of my younger cousin started attending church regularly with her mother, my aunt. My oldest cousin came to an invitational church service designed for recently married couples. My parents became deacons of the church they attend. As for me, a lot is on my plate as well. One, especially, is figuring out what to do next year as a member of the school chapter of CMF. I am sure there are many more scents of His mercy all around me. I am probably too blind to see more of God's gifts. I think it is time for all of us Christians to lay down the passive role and become active. The harvest is definitely here, with too few workers. Everything is laid out in full. It is only a matter of getting out there and taking it, so...

"...make the most of every opportunity." Colossians 4:5b-6

Self-Note #9542

Few things God told me
Keeping morning prayer and quiet time
Attending Bible study sessions
Praying before basketball
My acceptance through God's grace
Living as a man of God, a kingly priest
Focusing on God's work
To never stop gathering

Seriousness of Christ

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person - such a man is an idolater - has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them. / Ephesians 5:1-7

As I started growing in the Lord, I used to cling onto the outer looks of a Christian: The act of reading the Bible, attending church, the talking and even the walking. I used to chide myself whenever my actions fell behind. Those days were especially difficult for me as I was full of imperfection. Through my failures, I was fortunate enough to learn about the grace of God. I learned that it was okay to be lacking, in all sorts of ways. I soon experienced the love of Christ on a personal level, and have lived quite happily since. Recently, however, I am slowly realizing the responsibility of those ridden with grace. Although children may blossom in the arms of their parents (even causing trouble now and then), adults were expected to be more, more so on the spiritual level. Spirituality no longer became something that was not seen. It consisted of all of me. Of course it was easier to talk about anything that came to mind. It definitely was natural for me to live however I felt. My comfort zone was never challenged, but God seemed ever so serious about everything, especially the little things. 

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, "Go in peace; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. / James 2:14-17

At first, I clung onto the works. Then I soon found faith. Now, I guess it is time to pick up my works, my cross, and follow Him, who has given courage to do so. I believe this is exactly why the Bible consistently speaks about encouragement. It is with this courage that we begin to walk behind Jesus. 

Memories Part 1

일년이 다 되어간다. 한동안 잊지 못할 것 같다.

첫 해부학 실습 날 금식한다고 배도 고파서인지 어지러워 쓰러질 뻔한
자도 자도 필기는 되었던 MH의 강의록
시험 없는 주말 한가한 토요일의 사식
매 수업 피를 토할 것만 같았던 SH의 기침들
새벽까지 공부하다 먹었던 치킨
매일 저녁 9시 CMF 기도모임이란 이름 하에 임하던 작은 천국
피곤에 찌들어도 하나님의 은혜로 버리지 못하던 새벽기도
이제부터 더 알아갈 수많은 친구들, 동역자들

Light and Dark

And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from darkness. Genesis 1:3-4

Blindness often relates to darkness, the inability to see, or the inability to recognize light.
The Bible often tells us to be free from darkness. It tells us to embrace light.
As light shines upon, darkness passes away and objects are clearly seen.
Signs and directions would be recognized, 
and we expect to be off in the right direction, as probably prepared by God.
We often miss, however, the intensity of light.
What if light becomes greater and greater?
With more light, our eyes soon become blind.
Those once with beautiful colors soon merge into pigments of white.
Our world that we live in, soon become all of God's grace.
We see nothing but the glory of God, our eyes blinded yet again,
but this time, with shades of grace. 

Dosing Off

Today was the first time I dosed off during an exam.

Pages blurred, speech slurred.

Ha, not that I was talking anyways.

Thoughts swirled as I hurried to finish before collapsing.

Just another new experience,

Life filled with great influence

Mixture of Thoughts from Several Days

1

편입생이라서 오는 엄청난 거리감을 
오늘에서야 크게 느꼈다. 
어딘가 다른 인생을 사는 것 같은.
그 어떤 소속감. 중독이다.
축복이자 저주인.

2

Years and years ago, I remember seeing a neat film on TV. Although I never got to see the beginning since I started watching halfway through, I learned of the title a few days ago. Just a small satisfaction that I wanted to share (What a Way to Go, in case you were wondering). 

3

하고 싶은 말이 무엇 있을까
한 걸음 한 걸음 주님께로 부터
수많은 선배들처럼 그냥 그렇게 
서서히 멀어질까 마음이 아플 뿐

얼마나 오랜 시간이 흘러도
하나님을 잊지 않게 해달라고
주님의 말씀을 하나도 놓지 말겠노라
기도하고 다짐하고 

그냥 그렇게 너를 위해

4

An empty church, hymns gently playing
Enjoying God's presence, relaxing
No solitude, intimacy with the Lord
Deepest connection, a revelation

Why I Need to Pray

In what vain attempts to remember God, I decided to commit to a daily prayer meeting. It was a meeting organized by the school chapter of the Christian Medical Fellowship. Everyday at 9 PM, with the exception of Thursdays when they have a large group meeting, several students would gather to sing praises and pray. It would last about 30 minutes and the rest would be free time of prayer. After having gone nearly half the semester, it quickly became a routine. I would sit down, close my eyes and pray for about 5 minutes, but I would soon begin to dose off and wake up nearly 10 minutes later. 

The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. Moses said to Joshua, "Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands."
So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he say on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up - one on one side, one on the other - so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.
Then the LORD said to Moses, "Write this on a scroll as something to be remembered and make sure that Joshua hears it, because I will completely blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven."
Moses built an altar and called it Jehovah Nissi [The LORD is my Banner]. He said, "For hands were lifted up to the throne of the LORD. The LORD will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation." Exodus 17:8:16

Although passionately praying at first, Moses grew tired and soon began to falter. How long would a battle last exactly? Hours to days, I would say. Moses just might as well have dosed off. That, however, did not seem to matter anyways. As long as his hands were physically up, the Israelites were winning. The altar stood to say that the battle was won by God, and God alone. Maybe our sound mind, elaborate prayers do not matter as much to God. Maybe it is the constant act of worship, the longing for Him, the recognition of the desperate need for His help, the endless desire to carry on a conversation. 

Maybe this is why God compels me to get up early every morning, though not always quite successful. Maybe this is why God moves my feet to walk everyday. Maybe this is why God has given me a new life with new opportunities. 

Congrats and a Twist

Hey, congratulations.
I know it's none of my business and all,
but he better be one hell of a guy.
I'll be thoroughly disappointed, if elsewise.

Some Special Day

After having stayed up until 3 in the morning, I abandoned all thoughts of studying and went briskly to bed, hoping to get up early the next morning. That never happened. As I got up around 9AM, I bustled about to get ready and start studying again. The following week had three exams scheduled, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It's funny how in those specific times, times when I feel busy, I am called to be somewhere else. That morning, a friend of mine reminded me of a monthly meeting that I had forgotten. It was called Murray Meetings, in which the group invites a missionary to come speak. I had just sat down to study, but for some odd reason, I could not shake the longing to be there. Though about 40 minutes late, I entered just when the missionary was about to speak. His first few words were, "As a missionary for North Korea..." It could have been just another day, another coincidence, but the fascination arises as I had prayed nearly a week ago, specifically about the matter. As I felt rather lost amidst the school days, I asked God to teach me what I should be praying for. Just like how most of work done in medical school is memorizing, I felt it the same for Christians: remembering the graces of God seeped deep into the lives. About a year ago, I heard a missions report from Stephen Linton regarding TB patients. Within his message, he challenged the audience in asking who would be praying for North Korea if not the South Koreans. I had always thought about becoming a medical missionary, but the location was always vague, some distant land far away, possibly a tropical region. From that day on, however, I started looking twice whenever North Korea was mentioned. The first semester blew by quickly, but during the summer, I was again reminded of such thoughts. Yet, here I was again, listening to all the tragedies of North Korea, the pain and the suffering, but passionately longing for the Word of the Lord that could never be matched with people of free countries. To be honest, writing these thoughts down here in this blog is more for myself, as a reminder. I still have an exam tomorrow, which I should be studying for, but nonetheless, taking this time to write this down, hopefully, will again remind me of the people that God has set His eyes on. As for others in similar positions, pray, act and love. That alone should be enough to change the world.

Self-Note #76538

I wonder what crossed the mind of Moses. What were his thoughts when he was in the desert? I wonder what John was thinking when he saw all his friends persecuted. There are people in the corners of the world, even the darkest, the most remotest of the lands, waiting upon the Lord's command. 

I, too, shall keep none for myself. I will regain my honor.