Motto for Tomorrow

Everyone precious
Everything important
Everyway possible
Everywhere heavenly
Everyday a new day

Ezekiel Times

Then he cried in my ears with a loud voice, saying, “Bring near the executioners of the city, each with his destroying weapon in his hand.” And behold, six men came from the direction of the upper gate, which faces north, each with his weapon for slaughter in his hand, and with them was a man clothed in linen, with a writing case at his waist. And they went in and stood beside the bronze altar.

Now the glory of the God of Israel had gone up from the cherub on which it rested to the threshold of the house. And he called to the man clothed in linen, who had the writing case at his waist. And the Lordsaid to him, “Pass through the city, through Jerusalem, and put a mark on the foreheads of the men who sigh and groan over all the abominations that are committed in it.” And to the others he said in my hearing, “Pass through the city after him, and strike. Your eye shall not spare, and you shall show no pity. Kill old men outright, young men and maidens, little children and women, but touch no one on whom is the mark. And begin at my sanctuary.” So they began with the elders who were before the house. Then he said to them, “Defile the house, and fill the courts with the slain. Go out.” So they went out and struck in the city. And while they were striking, and I was left alone, I fell upon my face, and cried, “Ah, Lord God! Will you destroy all the remnant of Israel in the outpouring of your wrath on Jerusalem?”

Then he said to me, “The guilt of the house of Israel and Judah is exceedingly great. The land is full of blood, and the city full of injustice. For they say, ‘The Lord has forsaken the land, and the Lord does not see.’ As for me, my eye will not spare, nor will I have pity; I will bring their deeds upon their heads.”

And behold, the man clothed in linen, with the writing case at his waist, brought back word, saying, “I have done as you commanded me.” Ezekiel 9:1-11

There was so much here in Ezekiel 9 that I decided to post the entire chapter here. 

Ezekiel is presented visions, and the visions are not friendly. God essentially places judgment upon men of Israel. The mark that is to be the identifying factor for those who live is given to "the men who sigh and groan over all the abominations that are committed." 

Despite the common societal notions of the elderly, the women and children needing special care, God commands the death of everyone. The mark is the only ticket to being saved. 

I have met quite a few non-Christians who point exactly to passages such as these. God is portrayed as violent and destructive. They challenge that God is all loving and kind. I guess I could start arguing on points of theology, but I am no expert. I did want to mention a short clip from the movie Dark Knight.

There is a scene when an employee for Wayne Enterprises catches on who Batman really is. He then begins to blackmail an associate to Bruce Wayne, Mr. Fox. The reaction is priceless, as Mr. Fox says, "Let me get this straight. You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands; and your plan, is to blackmail this person?"

Though this may be a stretch, I wanted to ask those who questioned passages such as these. If God truly is violent and destructive, would you not want to know how to get on his good side?

On a different note, this passage shows that God wants his children to mourn for the sins of the world. I questioned myself, "Would I be able to get that mark on my forehead?" The question carried on: "Would I be able to mourn for those damned to destruction just like Ezekiel did?" 

It is natural for me to starting looking to myself only. It is easy for me to swing around the Word of God as judgment towards others, as if it were my authority, but honestly, all I should be doing is to kneel before God and pray, beg, yearn for his grace continually. 

I keep forgetting that the breath I just took was another gift from God. 

Hardened as Stone

"But I will make you as unyielding and hardened as they are. I will make your forehead like the hardest stone, harder than flint. Do not be afraid of them or terrified by them, though they are a rebellious house." Ezekiel 3:8-9

For too long have I felt powerless and weak. Let me remember that I may be decrepit, but with you I am strong. Make me bold and fierce. Let me be hardened by you only. Let me never be terrified by anything else than you. Let me be obedient, willing to accept love and give love. 

Random Thoughts on Mayweather v McGregor

I am not a hardcore fan of martial arts. I have dabbled here and there for several weeks, but nothing to boast about. I do know, however, that UFC fighters are probably tougher people when matched against boxers in street fighting.

I saw a clip of Mayweather with Malignaggi talking trash about McGregor. Mayweather is acting as if he is simply the king of the world. Yes, he is one of the undisputed fantastic boxers in history, but that is all within the protection of rules and regulations of a boxing match. If you throw away the ring, the gloves, and the clocks ticking, everyone is vulnerable to anything.

I thought about all the little ways that I was competitive, all the times that I tried desperately to stay ahead of someone, to beat them down and show dominance. Then I thought about the limitations. I thought about God's greatness.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom." Isaiah 40:28

Upon the sight of the Lord, we are all specks of dust blowing away in the wind. Yet, I was trying to look better than the man next to me, trying to stay popular, trying to make more money for comforts and authority. 

This game everyone is playing, it isn't mine. This is not my game. My game is with God. My goals are not to live a life of comfort. It is not about fame and power. It is about following the footsteps of Jesus. It is about obedience to His words. It is about life everlasting. It is about heaven and hell. 

You are not my game, devil. I am playing on a different level. Don't bother me anymore. 

Apollo Testing

Ever since the day of my accident, where the pick-up truck turned over as I was sitting in the back seat, I have grown slightly afraid of vehicles in general. Whenever I dose off in a car, even a little jerk would wake me up immediately. The take off and landings of airplanes now gets me a bit nervous as well. 

The bright side of such trepidation is that as long as I get to the destination safely, the fear ends instantly. 

As I was watching Apollo 13, I tried imagining how the astronauts must have felt sitting in that rocketship. With the entirety shaking violently, three men sitting close together tightly. As each second counted off, millions of ways the mission could go wrong definitely must have crossed their minds. The greatest fear of it all, however, to me at least, must have been that they were venturing off into the unknown, a hostile environment where human life could not be sustained. I guess this fear must have been greater for the men of Apollo 11. 

I thought about what it must have been like for the many characters in the Bible. Kings to shepherd boys, they all had their share of making that leap towards the unknown. I thought about what got me grounded here nowadays. Am I making more courageous leaps than before? 

Alphabet Aerobics - Blackalicious

Artificial amateurs aren't at all amazing

Analytically, I assault, animate things

Broken barriers bounded by the bomb beat

Buildings are broken, basically I'm bombarding

Casually create catastrophes, casualties

Canceling cats got their canopies collapsing

Detonate a dime of dank daily doing dough

Demonstrations, Don Dada on the down low

Eating other editors with each and every energetic

Epileptic episode, elevated etiquette

Furious fat fabulous fantastic

Flurries of funk felt feeding the fanatics

Gift got great global goods gone glorious

Getting godly in his game with the goriest

Hit 'em high, hella height, historical

Hey holocaust hints hear 'em holler at your homeboy

Imitators idolize, I intimidate

In an instant, I'll rise in an irate state

Juiced on my jams like jheri curls jocking joints

Justly, it's just me, writing my journals

Kindly I'm kindling all kinds of ink on

Karate kick type brits in my kingdom

Let me live a long life, lyrically lessons is

Learned lame louses just lose to my livery

My mind makes marvelous moves, masses

Marvel and move, many mock what I've mastered

Niggas nap knowing I'm nice naturally

Knack, never lack, make noise nationally

Operation, opposition, off not optional

Out of sight, out of mind, wide beaming opticals

Perfected poem, powerful punch lines

Pummeling petty powder puffs in my prime

Quite quaint quotes keep quiet it's Quantum

Quarrelers ain't got a quarter of what we got uh

Really raw raps, rising up rapidly

Riding the rushing radioactivity

Super scientifical sound search sought

Silencing super fire saps that are soft

Tales ten times talented, too tough

Take that, challengers, get a tune up

Universal, unique untouched

Unadulterated, the raw uncut

Verb vice lord victorious valid

Violate vibes that are vain make em vanished

While I'm all well what a wise wordsmith just

Weaving up words, weeded up on my work shift

Xerox, my X-radiation holes extra large

X-height letters, and xylophone tones

Yellow back, yak mouth, young ones yaws

Yesterday's lawn yard sell our yawn

Zig-zag zombies, zoom in to the zenith

Zero in zen thoughts, overzealous rhyme zealots

Alphabet Aerobics - Blackalicious

Teachers Beware

"Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." James 3:1

I can barely recall what it was like sitting at church in grade school. All I can remember is goofing off after service. I have more recollection of sermons as a middle school student, but that consisted mostly of reading comic books at a corner. 

Here I am now, a teacher for Sunday school, sitting among students much younger than I, trying to remember what exactly went through my mind every week listening to the pastor. 

Now there are a handful of other teachers as well. As much as the teachers sit alongside the students, it is really difficult to have the kids pay attention to what the pastor is saying. The senior teachers would tell me to hush the kids and I do try, but in the back of my mind, I often find it pretty ridiculous to even try to keep the students in control. It is what children do! They doze off, find dust balls to play with, talk among friends or even read whatever is in front of them. I sometimes think we as teachers need to thank them for even having tried to keep quiet and pay attention. 

I do remember some of the Sunday school teachings, but I feel like the most influence it had on my spirituality was that I remember church fondly because the teachers would play with us afterwards. Then again, I get this notion that everything is indeed grace of God, grace to have stuck with church and have experienced his love. 

With that in mind, I felt the need to really pray for these students. Perhaps it was my inattentiveness towards the Bible that the children would dismiss reading the sermon messages. Perhaps it was my carelessness in prayer that the children would talk among friends during prayer time. Perhaps it was my greed to time that the children would be half asleep having spent the night before playing until late. Perhaps it was my failure to truly enjoy God's presence that the children do not find joy in worship. 

Grace of God, yes, but could it have been the collection of prayers all the teachers in church offered that I stand now under the wings of His Glory? Strict judgment, more responsibility, greater delight. 

My Ishmael

"Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; so she said to Abram, 'The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.'” Genesis 16:1-2

"So Hagar bore Abram a son, and Abram gave the name Ishmael to the son she had borne." Genesis 16:15

"Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him." Genesis 21:1-3

"But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, and she said to Abraham, 'Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.'” Genesis 21:9-10

Though the passage is longer than usual, I felt a need to share a good block of the backstory. God had promised Abram, now Abraham, a multitude of descendants who will flourish. This was to be done by his wife Sarai, now Sarah. However, Sarah becomes anxious and takes matters into her own hands. She decides to give Hagar, her slave, to bear a child for Abraham. 

Hagar bears Abraham a son, calling him Ishmael. During this period of pregnancy for Hagar, she imposes her begotten authority upon Sarah, as Hagar is the child bearer to the master of the house. Because of this Sarah becomes distressed and forces Hagar out of the house. 

God brings Hagar back, and she does give birth to Ishmael. Later, Sarah becomes pregnant as God had promised. Upon naming the son Isaac, Ishmael is said to have mocked Isaac. Through this, Hagar and Ishmael is finally cast out of the house. 

Five people mixed with heartbreaks and frustrations: Abraham for his mistrust in God's promise. Sarah for her impatience. Hagar for her arrogance. Ishmael for his envy. Isaac for his weakness. Whatever it was, their individual iniquities ended up bringing tragedy upon a household. 

I remember praying to God for his blessed guidance through multiple matters of life. Whether it be a career or a relationship, I would ask for his wisdom in making the right choices. I have now realized that, though praying to God is still a wonderful attitude of a Christian, I had been making the choices myself, simply asking God to have my back. With every single decision made completely alone, I would find myself in trouble, or in frustrations. Not all life choices came out as disasters, but I have now gotten quite tired of soiling my life with poor decisions. I wanted to stop creating my Ishmaels. I had now wanted to find outright joy in my Isaacs. 

In my heart, I guess I wanted to say that I am fully tired of meeting and parting ways with that special someone. I truly hold raising a family to high value in my life. Meeting someone to love wholeheartedly through eternity seems to be the hardest task of my life. I realized that I had not been patient in waiting upon God's guidance in finding such a person. I just thought perhaps it was due time to wait upon the LORD. 

His Presence

"And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, 'Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?' And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, 'Peace! Be still!' And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, 'Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?'” Mark 4:37-40

It is easy to forget a lot when there is a storm about you, especially if you are in a boat. It is easy to let go of all the values and simply follow instinct amidst trouble. Yet, Jesus calmly lets his disciples know that he is still with them. 

I cannot say that my emotions are stable. To an advantage, I guess I can be lively and expressive. On the other hand, it would mean that I would have moments of sadness lull over a day or so. Yesterday was one of the lower days. The long weekend had adjusted me to life in Seoul, one packed with people and activities. It was sure depressing to leave it behind, even if it were for only a little while. Friend's rant on spirituality and condemnations definitely had its saddening effect, and to top if off, I played pretty awfully in a basketball game. 

As I was driving home, a 40-minute ride with few street lights, I could not help but to cry out to God. Everything seemed to put me on stage, perhaps a main character in a tragedy. Couple of friends that I reached out to via phone calls would of course not pick up that moment, calling back minutes later when I had closed up my heart for the night. No disaster had struck, but my soul was certainly downcast. 

I woke up early in the morning to an alarm. A familiar voice, that of a pastor, was heard from my phone. He quoted verses on Jesus calming the sea, and reminded his listeners to remember that God was present. He was with his disciples. He was with us, his children. And, though he seems to rebuke his disciples for their lack of faith, he still responded to their cries. He responded to mine. 

Immanuel. "God with us." It was one of those moments, those experiences of the Holy Spirit coming directly as a consolation, a comfort. It had been a while since I had truly felt Jesus reach out to me. I seem to forget easily, to live without much thought of God. I was truly glad to have the Lord remember me and care for me. 

Thank you. 

Trials and Peace

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3

On an earlier post, I wrote that I had been stationed in Chuncheon, one of the more envied places to be stationed within the public health doctors. I am utterly grateful for the opportunity, but, at the same time, I have had a tug of heart.

On the day before the raffle for stationing, I had a few choices in mind. I could apply to Jeonbuk and hope to have been stationed near Gochang in order to see the kids I have met while volunteering at a children's shelter. Or, I could have applied to the Ministry of Health and Welfare and hope to have been placed at Seoul Station to provide free medical services to the homeless. 

The downside of applying to Jeonbuk was that I was sure to be far from home. The downside of applying to the Ministry of Health and Welfare was that I had a higher chance of working at a prison. There were definitely more reasons for and against the decisions at hand, but in the end, I chose to apply to Gangwondo as it would be a place closest to home with the least amount of workload. 

Having got what I had thought I wanted, I spent most of my days doing nothing. I mean nothing it that I am rarely doing much that is constructive. At first, I had thought this was a gift from God as that of how Elijah was taken care of in the ravines. Recently, however, I feel that I had taken the road I had wanted, rather than what God would have loved. 

I can honestly say that I had been fearful. I was afraid of moving far from home yet again, afraid of the trials of serving a new place, afraid of responsibilities, afraid of feeling I was the only Christian in the neighborhood. I was afraid I would lead a life that of Martha, simply anxious and frustrated to "do" works, rather than to enjoy God. 

However, the choices were made and I have to live with this for three years. I am hesitant to say this, but there really seems little possibility of moving elsewhere now, and I feel like this will be a thorn in my heart for years.

I remember someone once saying that getting what you wanted all the time, of being left alone to do whatever by God could be a sign to reconsider your relationship with God.

Coincidentally, I am in the middle of reading the book of Jeremiah, and I feel like a sincere repentance is in order. 

It simply may be my workaholic attitude towards God that leads me to think that I should have taken the road with more work. It could be that I have trouble simply enjoying life that is given from God. In any case, this sure is a good opportunity to spend more time with God. 

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

Jeremiah's Prayer

"Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps. Discipline me, Lord, but only in due measure— not in your anger, or you will reduce me to nothing." Jeremiah 10:23-24