Praying 12

"아론이 성소에 들어갈 때에는 이스라엘 아들들의 이름을 기록한 이 판결 흉패를 가슴에 붙여 여호와 앞에 영원한 기념을 삼을 것이니라" 출애굽기 28:29

이집트를 탈출한 이스라엘 백성들에게 하나님의 백성으로 살 수 있게 지켜 나가야할 규칙과 규율들을 전하시는 장면에서 제사장의 의복, 그중에 제사장이 입고 다닐 흉패에 대한 설명 중 하나이다. 

제사장의 흉패에는 보석들에 이스라엘의 열두아들의 이름을 적어서 하나님 앞에 나아갈 때마다 열두지파를 생각하라고 하신다. 어떤 결정을 내릴 때에도 그 백성을 생각하라는 의미이겠지만, 지금 시대에 사는 나로서는 내가 하나님 앞에 기도하는 마음으로 가지고 갈 열두 이름을 생각해보게 되었다. 

왕 같은 제사장으로 우리를 부르신만큼 하나님 앞에 기도해야할 적어도 열두명의 사람들을 생각해보게 되었다. 사랑하는 가족들과 친구들, 그리고 영적 동역자들. 이들만큼은 무슨 일이 있어도 함께 하나님 나라에서 보고 싶다는 마음으로 기도해야겠다는 생각이 들었다. 

나는 다른 누군가의 열두명에 속할 수 있을까?

Marriage Dream

A dream, I haven't had in a while, made it all the more sweeter. I had seen in the Bible that God had spoken many a times in dreams, and I had prayed to experience likewise. 

And there I was driving up a steep hill, up to where a school had been. I was a teacher or a guidance counselor of a sort. The hill was more like a cliff, and after several occasions of near-fall situations, I had arrived. 

Now it was a wedding venue, and I was the one getting married. I realized that I had met the bride just hours ago, and we had agreed to get married. I barely knew her, but was just jumping into it. I remember I did not have the guts to call it quits. 

I went in a room to get dressed and after having came out, I was late. The ceremony was over. 

Though it was a brief dream, there in my heart was gladness and joy in having gotten married. I figured I seek marriage as something of a treasure deep inside. 

Our Father

“This, then, is how you should pray: “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name'" Matthew 6:9

When asked how to pray, Jesus starts by saying "Our Father." From a sermon I have heard, the pastor talks about how Jesus does not start by calling out God as Creator, Master, nor King, but by saying Father. 

In essence, whatever is said, the recognition of the relationship itself is what is important. God is our Father. We are his children, and we should act like a child, not in the sense of immaturity, but as family.

I did understand this message, but such a way of praying was rather difficult for me. I thought about how I talked to my father, and quickly found the answer. 

I have lived apart from my father for some years. My parents are happily married, but in order for my brother and I to study abroad, my mother came to live with us, leaving dad behind for some years. During those times, I was going through puberty and a lot of identity construction. 

Though I am back in Korea, I do not see my parents that often. I do have a great relationship with my dad, but I wondered if I talked about anything serious lately. Anything that was remotely serious would be cut short because we would end up arguing. 

I did not feel like my father was listening to what I was really saying. My father must have felt that I was pretty young and immature. Whatever the reasons, I realized that I have not been able to talk to my father in a father-son way, and that was why I had trouble talking to God as my Father. 

I am not sure when I will fully understand or learn how to talk to my parents, but I hope that will come soon as I wish to know more about my parents. Time is passing, and I want to make every moment precious. 

Nothing Else

Everything is passing away,
all the joy and the sorrows
All that will be left,
the greatest of them all.
Love of Christ and nothing else

외로운 가로등

어두운 밤 길을 걷다 만난 하나의 가로등 같이, 길을 잃은 자에게 마음의 안식을 주는 그런. 아무도 없는 그 길에 왜 홀로 서있는지 모르지만 그렇게 누군가의 외로움이 또 다른 사람에게는 위로의 존재가 될 수 있다는 것이 참으로 신비한 일인 것 같다. 

방황하며, 마주하며, 그렇게 영롱하게 빛을 바라며. 

비록 그 찬란함에 경탄은 수도 없이 들어왔지만 정작 그 곁을 지켜주는 사람은 누구일까. 아름답다는 말 한마디에 한 사람의 영혼이 깃들어 전해지길 바라지만 때로는 그 진심이 전달되지 않을 수도 있다는 아쉬움이 남는다. 그렇기에 비록 이야기가 길어졌지만 정말 순수하고 아리따운 마음을 가진 그대에게 식상하지만 또 다른 말로 표현할 수 없을 어여쁘다는 말과 함께 저의 작은 마음 전합니다. 

Forgiveness

They are all treasured in your sight,
and I am heaven bound.
What matter is it to lose here?
For I have won an eternal blessing there.
So spread the love. 

Love Upon that Hill

I prayed for His response. 
I asked for an assurance of God's love for me.
I stood anxious and vulnerable.
I was afraid in my wait.

He gently led me.
He pointed upon a hill.
There he was, nailed to a cross.
Jesus was crucified,
and there I found love yet again.