His Presence

"And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, 'Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?' And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, 'Peace! Be still!' And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, 'Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?'” Mark 4:37-40

It is easy to forget a lot when there is a storm about you, especially if you are in a boat. It is easy to let go of all the values and simply follow instinct amidst trouble. Yet, Jesus calmly lets his disciples know that he is still with them. 

I cannot say that my emotions are stable. To an advantage, I guess I can be lively and expressive. On the other hand, it would mean that I would have moments of sadness lull over a day or so. Yesterday was one of the lower days. The long weekend had adjusted me to life in Seoul, one packed with people and activities. It was sure depressing to leave it behind, even if it were for only a little while. Friend's rant on spirituality and condemnations definitely had its saddening effect, and to top if off, I played pretty awfully in a basketball game. 

As I was driving home, a 40-minute ride with few street lights, I could not help but to cry out to God. Everything seemed to put me on stage, perhaps a main character in a tragedy. Couple of friends that I reached out to via phone calls would of course not pick up that moment, calling back minutes later when I had closed up my heart for the night. No disaster had struck, but my soul was certainly downcast. 

I woke up early in the morning to an alarm. A familiar voice, that of a pastor, was heard from my phone. He quoted verses on Jesus calming the sea, and reminded his listeners to remember that God was present. He was with his disciples. He was with us, his children. And, though he seems to rebuke his disciples for their lack of faith, he still responded to their cries. He responded to mine. 

Immanuel. "God with us." It was one of those moments, those experiences of the Holy Spirit coming directly as a consolation, a comfort. It had been a while since I had truly felt Jesus reach out to me. I seem to forget easily, to live without much thought of God. I was truly glad to have the Lord remember me and care for me. 

Thank you.