Expectations and Disappointments

I had wanted to become an inventor, a scientist when I was a child. When in high school, I decided that I had wanted to become a doctor. Thankfully, I had majored in engineering, and by doing so, I had gotten a glimpse of what an inventor/scientist did for a living. It was nothing like the books on stories of Einstein and Da Vinci. Though I was disappointed, I was already on my path to head onto medical school. 

While I was in medical school, I had imagined a life of servitude. I had expected passionate and mature students to study alongside of me. I sought professors who were active in serving the community while working hard to train young soon-to-be doctors. I was wrong. Medical school was full of tests and textbooks. Everyone was too busy to care about anything. 

After graduation, I finally enrolled in the military. I was not trained to be a soldier but as a public health doctor. I would not be in a military base, but a local branch of a public health center, somewhere in the rural countryside. All the public health doctors would tell me that it would be the golden three years of my life, full of opportunities and time with few responsibilities. I expected such enjoyment of life, but was faced with nothingness and loneliness. 

There were only a few of my expectations and following disappointments. Of course the experiences were not complete miseries. I was disappointed, but it also had its positive aspects. I did not totally lose my gratitude and thankfulness, but it had gotten me thinking about expectations and disappointments. 

What was it that I expected in the first place? Why did I start imagining what I had wanted to see? Where did these expectations come from? Why did I feel sorry for expectations not being met? 

There are many writings on the subject, but I had yet to find one that explains deeper psychology on the matter. Most articles simply say that people are disappointed because of expectations. That would be it. I wanted more. 

Abraham was promised a son. He was left in the dark for years, childless. The runaways from Egypt expected wealthiness, but they were met with fields of desert, only eating manna for days on end. The Israelites expected a king, but they were met with a man nailed to a cross.

Truly Jesus was king, but he was saving his people from eternal damnation. It almost seemed like God was telling me to expect nothing of this world, but expect the kingdom that is to come. 

"Rejoice greatly, Daughter Zion! Shout, Daughter Jerusalem!
See, your king comes to you, righteous and victorious,
lowly and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey."

Zechariah 9:9

I know that salvation from this world will come as well. I know our necessities will be met, and that situations in life will change by the will of God. I know, however, that the best is to come, not of this world, but of His world. 

This conclusion is no answer to the questions I had before, but I figured I should be content with this for now.