짐

"수고하고 무거운 짐을 진 모든 사람은 다 내게로 오라. 내가 너희를 쉬게 할 것이다. 나는 마음이 온유하고 겸손하니 너희는 내 멍에를 메고 내게서 배우라. 그러면 너희 영혼이 쉼을 얻을 것이다. 내 멍에는 메기 쉽고 내 짐은 가볍다." 마태복음 11:28-30

새삼 느낀다. 예수님의 사랑을. 

사과에 사과를 거듭 더하여도 부족하지만 언덕 넘어 그 어느 날 주의 집에 다다를 날을 소망하여 찢기고 너덜거리는 주께 순종하려는 이 의지를 붙잡고 다시 한 번 그 길을 가겠습니다.

Working for Salvation

Constant, Constantine, Constantinople.

Though words have various stories behind lives, Constantine reminds me more of the film starring Keanu Reeves, story of a man desperately trying to earn his way to heaven. 

I find quite a lot of joy and satisfaction in helping others. I had always wanted to be known as the best bachelor who swept a girl off her feet. I enjoy the story behind "Pretty Woman." I wanted to become a doctor so that I could "save" others. 

Though theological insane for Protestants, perhaps I am as I am in hopes that from saving others, I too shall be saved by the hand of God. 

Depth of Life

How can words possibly describe the endless depths of a man's life? Nonetheless, everyday, there is a chance to please God with small things to big. They all come as challenges to our lives. As to how to respond, I hope you choose wisely.

Jealousy

I never thought I would write anything about dating, but something came up that led me to think about jealousy in a relationship. Here is the story. My girlfriend and I go to different churches. There is a guy from church whom she had dated a while ago, say 2-3 years ago. She broke the relationship after a short time, and the guy went through some emotional stress. He managed to overcome it all, and they both stayed as friends.

Just today, I visited my girlfriend working at a café. I had brought dinner and hung around for about an hour and a half. Around 6, her church pastor and the ex came to the café. My girlfriend told me she was rather uncomfortable with both of us being in the same place and asked me if I could leave early, in which I agreed and simply left.

It took me a little more than an hour to get home since it was rush hour, which was more than enough time to think about what just happened. I understood that she was careful in not making her ex feeling uncomfortable since she has to see him every week at church where talk is inevitable. Still, I was a bit disappointed. Would anyone really care if no emotions were left whatsoever?

Personally, I am not the jealous type, but I was definitely irked. It wasn’t so much that I was jealous, but I was irritated by the fact that she considered his situation more so than how I would have felt.

Maybe this is being jealous. After having written it down, it does seem like a childish response, but I came to the conclusion that jealousy is the response after being pushed down in priority. No wonder God proclaims Him to be jealous, all in good reason, I guess. 

봉사활동

친한 누나가 저에게 뜬금없이 봉사활동을 권유했습니다. 삼성서울병원에 입원해 있는 김온유씨를 돕는 일이었습니다. 저는 간단하게 그분의 사연을 알아 본 후에 함께 병원으로 갔습니다. 
자세한 일은 저도 잘 알지 못하지만 온유의 말로는 몇 번의 의료 실수와 사고로 자신의 자가 호흡의 기능을 잃어 24시간 엠브 백으로 호흡을 할 수밖에 없는 상황에 놓였다고 합니다. 이야기로만 들어도 가슴이 답답했는데 직접 눈으로 보면 더 괴로울 것 같아 주저했지만 그래도 병원으로 발걸음을 옮긴 것이 잘한 일인 것 같습니다. 

그래도 온유를 처음 봤을 때 목에 엠브백이 연결되어 있는 것을 보자니 불편한 마음이 들었습니다. 하지만 여느 또래 아이와 다를 것이 전혀 없는 그런 한 사람이었습니다. 불편하게만 느껴질 것 같은 분위기는 편안하고 아늑하기까지 한 공간으로 변하였고, 엠브백을 짜면서 소소한 이야기도 많이 나누었습니다. 환자임을 전혀 내색하지 않았지만 그래도 마음속에 많은 괴로움과 서러움이 있지 않을까 생각했습니다. 
집으로 돌아가는 길에 저는 하나님께 여쭤보았습니다: "이 분은 왜 이렇게 힘든 인생을 살게 하십니까?"
 
저로선 생각만 해도 답답하고 괴로운데 13년 넘게 병원에서 생활하고 있다는 게 대단할 뿐이었습니다. 꿈과 비전, 소망과 열정 등으로 가득 차 있어야 할 시간에 작은 공간에 묶여있는 마냥 하루를 살아가는 삶이란 괴로움뿐일 것 같았지만 온유는 참으로 담담하였습니다. 깊은 신앙의 나눔은 하지 못했지만 언젠간 하나님과 나누었던 교제에 대해 물어볼까 합니다. 
  
"예수께서 길을 가실 때에 날 때부터 맹인 된 사람을 보신지라 제자들이 물어 이르되 랍비여 이 사람이 맹인으로 난 것이 누구의 죄로 인함이니이까 자기니이까 그의 부모니이까 예수께서 대답하시되 이 사람이나 그 부모의 죄로 인한 것이 아니라 그에게서 하나님이 하시는 일을 나타내고자 하심이라" 요한복음 9:1-3

저희가 온전히 이해하고 알지 못하는 것들 가운데 살지만 주님을 신뢰함을 잃지 않고 함께 중보하며 주님 오실 날을 기다리는 그리스도인이 되길 기도해주세요!

잠에 대해

의료인이 되고자 마음먹은 순간부터 포기한 것이 있다면 수면이 아닐까 생각하는 사람들은 많겠지만 그리스도인이 된 순간부터 잠에 시달릴 것을 생각한 사람들은 많지 않으리라.

Destitute I Stand

“You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.” Revelation 3:17-18

Poor that I am. I am wretchedly poor. All that surrounds blinds me. 

Wayward thoughts of the nature of giving

As with every wonder of this world, one small trigger was indeed enough to have greatness set in motion. A desire for freedom of religion has built a great nation that is the United States. A desire for protection built the Great Wall of China. A will for peace has erected the Nobel Prize. A solemn hope for being heard has made all the great literature within the pages of history. A small thought of sharing emotions has made all the music in the world. A love unquenchable moved God to create.

Now, not everything leads to greatness that echoes throughout history, but all action does bring forth consequences. Naturally, goodwill has a better chance of ending in positivity. A complement can push a man to do more than he once thought. An encouragement can keep a woman fighting on through all hardship. A gift can surely leave a mark in everyone’s heart.

Focusing on the aspects of gifts a little more, such is the character of a gift. It has the potential to move people to make strides of achievement. A gift of special occasion thus can have even more meaning melted within. A birthday gift can share the gratitude of one’s presence in the world. A gift of graduation can hold meaning of invigoration into what is held in the future. A gift of travels can become a window to a whole new world.

Say a beautiful lady decides to travel, perhaps to Taiwan, Paris, Rome, or wherever. Amazing experiences she treasures will be limited by human nature that is individuality. The thoughts and feelings have so little freedom in expression by simple words. However, by a token of her voyage, enough will be said as the gift will serve as an incarnation of all the experiences that has made her grow further in her life. A gift gotten from the oriental culture of Taiwan may conjure up the similarities within countries of Asia, enticing the hope of unification of people. A gift from the city of love that is Paris may just be enough to lead one to true love. A gift from Rome, a city that is history itself, may conceivably have oneself thinking about the meaning of life and the impact of human history.

Whatever message a gift may bring, the important fact is that it has potential. It is the same marvel that is found in the creation of life; say a birth of a baby. A gift can be a motivation, a key, to a world that has not yet been opened for the eager at heart. Ambitions can be found. Passions can be awoken. All that has been imagined just might become reality.

Although much has been said, a gift is the simple reality that people exist in love. Nature of communication, an act of giving, has been instilled in us as a reflection of God. Thus, gift becomes love, and love will always be. 

Profile of the Gospel

“’Lord,’ Ananias answered, ‘I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your holy people in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.’

But the Lord said to Ananias, ‘Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.’” Acts 9:13-16

I can almost hear Ananias asking God, “Why him? Why Saul of all people? He doesn’t deserve the Gospel!”

It is the same for me. I have in mind a profile of those who are deemed “worthy” of the Gospel, those who certainly seem good to be saved from hell.

On whose standards was I thinking? God certainly does not judge people by their looks. He searches the minds and hearts of people. Who am I to pick and choose in sharing the good news? It wasn’t even mine in the first place.

Too many times I have passed those whom God must have wanted the Gospel to be shared. As I close my eyes in prayer, I can hear the whisper of God saying, “Go!” 

Verse of the Year: 2016

"Remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins." James 5:20

One soul.

Happy New Year