One of the perks of being a medical student is that a lot is learned about the human body. A lot of preconceived notions of people were broken, and I quickly learned that a majority of what happens around us is uncontrollable. It's hard to say I learned all this philosophical jargon in class, but the experience here certainly allowed me to mature just a little bit more, especially the ones from the psychiatric ward.
I started rotations in the psych ward beginning of this week. I was pretty nervous because of all the rumors surrounding the place. Thankfully, most the patients were well managed and treated by the standing doctors.
In the back of my head, I thought that mental illnesses were mostly from the lack of discipline and a weak willpower, but I soon saw that I was grossly mistaken. Broken families and related environmental issues played a major role in the formation of a mental illness, not to mention simple imbalances in hormones as well.
Perhaps it was from my own shortcomings that I had thought too harsh of mental patients. I still have trouble accepting the flawed state of man. The imperfection bothers me very much. From such frustration, I grew to be anxious, which stemmed into an obsessive-compulsive personality. I also had relationship issues where I would keep a safe distance with people in order to control how others see me, a defense mechanism of sorts to help me deal with an inner issue.
I was no different from the people in the hospital. The only difference may be that I haven't been triggered yet. The prayer that I pray would be that I would never be triggered here in this life.
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