Time in the Fish

Just when is thought too much? 

"But the LORD provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights." Jonah 1:17

I read the story of Jonah and his time inside the fish. Perhaps it was from the story of  Pinocchio and Monstro, but I could not help but wonder what actually went on within the three days and nights. How big was the fish? Where exactly did he stay? How did he survive?

The Bible only recounts the prayer by Jonah, of his realization and understandings.

"And the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land." Jonah 2:10

School started last Monday for me. To be honest, I had many occasions where I felt like God was telling me to stay home. I left nonetheless. As I sat in the bus heading into town, I was left with thoughts of the consequences of my actions. Am I starting on a new path? Or am I simply waiting until the realization of God's lessons for me? Would I be free of these thoughts? Or would this be a thorn of lesson in my life?

Dream Sequence: An Encounter

I met God in my dreams. My heart was ever at peace knowing that He did exist, but not long after, I started crying. I began sobbing since I knew that no one would believe me. There would be no one to share this delight, this wonder, this love.

Outreach Reports

I was never the great man of faith. I had thought myself a decent Christian, but after a year of realizing what humility meant, I quickly cast off any false images of myself. I soon came to terms with the fact that I was trying too hard to be somebody I was not.

 

Amidst the spiritual travels, I have tagged along on several short-term mission trips and, as much as my lazy butt screamed in agony every single time, God always taught me a thing or two during every trip.

 

The first mission trip was to Japan. I had gotten back from the U.S. after my freshmen year in college, and as I had planned absolutely nothing for the summer, I was wasting time playing stupid online games and watching porn (pardon the crude honesty). As self-loathing grew evermore, I took a big step and started attending a college ministry at a church that was nearby. Thanks to God, I settled in really well. Since I had a lot of time on my hands, I wanted to do something, and coincidentally, the church was looking for people to join short-term mission trips. I thought going to Japan would not be a bad idea, so I signed up without much hesitation. I actually thought I would be tagging along with a bunch of pastors and professionals while I would help out with minor errands. I soon realized that the rest of the group was all thinking the same. We were all young college students who really had no idea what mission trips were. With the help of a few leaders, the team would get together and practice dancing to worship songs, plan short theaters, and even learn their language. In retrospect, they were such minor, seemingly insignificant, contributions to the community, but there was one thing I had learned from the trip start to end: it was how to worship with a passion. After all, that seemed like the most beautiful aspect of young adults.

 

The second trip was after my junior year in college. Nearly two years had passed since I had gone to Japan. Within the two years, I had gotten actively involved with the church back at school. By then, I was getting tired of all the church “work” I had gotten myself into. As I came back to Korea hoping to just rest, a bunch of friends asked me to go on another mission trip with them. Every single cell in my heart was screeching “no,” but in all honesty, I think it was peer pressure that got me into it again. This time, the team was to go to the Jeju Islands. Unfortunately, I was slowly drowning in a pool of mannerism. Looking back on it now, I think this was exactly what God wanted to correct within my heart. I had considered God to be an owner of a treasure map. As I would go searching for the treasure, He would simply watch. As I shared this thought, the team leader spoke of love. She spoke of companionship, friendship, a relationship, something I had not yet fully understood. The seed was still planted, as I would soon learn more about God’s love.

 

The third trip was to Argentina. I had become a senior in college, a part-time student, so I made some time to head out during the school year. This trip was much less rigorous as it was to be a medical mission trip. Five or six doctors would be traveling with a pastor. Another college student and I were to follow to help out. The way there was endless: two airplane rides and long hours of traveling on unpaved roads. Once the team arrived, however, the tired body was welcomed with such warmth of nature. The sky was ever blue with spots of clouds that seemed to have been drawn in. Houses were well blended within the scenes of trees and love. I did have somewhat of a hard time adjusting to living in a village of twenty some people with barely any electricity and clean water, but oh, I felt the embrace of God. I was allowed to see a hint of what freedom in Him would truly mean. Peace of God was what I had tasted.

 

The great passion for God after the trip was recklessly shattered, however, as I came back home to Korea. Small plans for my future were shut as I felt like I was cast into strange territories. Even among all that, I had signed up for another mission trip. Maybe it was out of habit or peer pressure, but I quickly found myself in agony. I actually remember calling my pastor, telling him I absolutely did not want to go. The trip was to the Jeju Island again, though to a different church. I would love to share my thoughts after having been there again, but I remember only one lesson, and it was of my wretchedness. Indeed, it was a valuable lesson, but I am not sure I would like to go through it again.

 

Now, back to the year 2012, the latest trip was to a local town in Korea called Hapcheon. Thankfully, I was doing pretty well both physically and spiritually. The team was to go hold a mentoring camp for middle school students. I had a decent amount of will to participate this time, but I still had a sense of doubt. I was afraid I would have an awful time, and perhaps never want to participate ever again. Naturally, I prayed to God, “Lord, as a sign, please let life spring from the ground I set my first feet upon to know that I have indeed done some good within this place,” but thanks to irony, the first step I took was on a paved road. I had forgotten the prayer during most of the trip. The schedule was busy as always, and with a blink of an eye, it was the last day of the trip. I decided to take at least a peek at the road, and of course, I could see nothing on the road. I sat down and still prayed a little prayer, but as I lifted my head up, there was a vast field of green stretching far beyond. I had not noticed it in the first place as the bus was blocking the view as we had gotten off. At that moment, I felt as if God was saying to me, “There are many living spirits here in this place, for this is what I do.” I may not know what exactly I have done in that place, but I knew God was still around.

 

Sooner or later, I would get to learn of God’s grace more, and perhaps learn to be a true fisherman for God. It is not for the people or the music that I go, but for the presence of God. A glimpse of truth may be all that I need.

Dream Sequence: Immanuel, God with Us

Here is a quick mind exercise. Picture your memories, good times and bad. What is your first memory? Was it that toy you always put in your mouth? Or was it when you went to school for the first time? Was it your first family trip? What about the time you cried because you made a mistake? What about the time your friend moved to a different city? How about your first date? Or does the time you lost a loved one show up first? Maybe it is the day of graduation, or the first time you felt failure? When were your times of laughter? When were your times of greatest sadness? Was it the first house you bought, or the car? What about that time you proposed to your girlfriend in front of a crowd? Do you remember the time you saw your baby for the first time? Or did your kids grow up so quickly, they left the house in the blink of an eye? Do you remember sitting in front of your lawn with your wife, just enjoying the weather as you watch time pass by?

Now picture God amongst all your memories, always there for you, laughing with you, comforting you, leading you into life everlasting.

Give and Take Away

1 Chronicles 17

I plan to give one and He gives me thousands.

Timeless

“There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

   a time to be born and a time to die,

   a time to plant and a time to uproot,

   a time to kill and a time to heal,

   a time to tear down and a time to build,

   a time to weep and a time to laugh,

   a time to mourn and a time to dance,

   a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

   a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

   a time to search and a time to give up,

   a time to keep and a time to throw away,

   a time to fear and a time to mend,

   a time to be silent and a time to speak,

   a time to love and a time to hate,

   a time for war and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8



Lighting Up

I am more of a florescent light kind of a guy. I tend to get sentimental from the mood conventional light bulbs set. Maybe it’s because of the yellow shade of dark it emits. When I am taking a light walk during the evenings, however, the lamps on the sidewalks are rather perfect. The lamp head shines brightly, but as you look closely, it is only the filament within the light bulb that shines, just a tiny piece of metal lighting up a greater space. Maybe that is how it should be like for Christians. With just a few good men, the whole neighborhood can shine brightly.

Congratulations By the Way

Honestly, I do not understand how others enjoy my presence. I am rude, selfish and overall, an awful friend. Thankfully, I have been blessed to have many friends that seem to like me for who I am. Especially in college, I met with ten or so guys that just stuck together. Of course, some of us (mostly me) fought from time to time, but, in the end, we pulled through as one. Looking back, we were bunch of chumps, not having a clue as to what the world was. I thought I had matured quite a bit since then, but time sure had more surprises.

Late one night, past twelve, one of the friends gave me a call. He was not the calling type, so his phone call took me a bit by surprise. After some small talk, he told me he was getting married. I did not believe him at first, but after a while, his news really settled in. This certainly was not a life-changing experience for me, but a thought did cross my mind: maybe it was time for my inner child to grow up.

I had often run away from responsibility. I always tried to find an easier road, one less painful, just playing in shallow waters. Tides are coming for me. I do not want to run away this time. There seem to be much precious places just past the waves.

Summer Picnics

I have fond memories of Madison, Wisconsin. Besides the fact that it was blistering cold during the winters, remembering my high school days always brings up a smile on my face.

The quiet neighborhoods and the peaceful people were mostly what I remember. In addition, I especially remember my first summer in Madison. It was during the summer before my senior year. I had always traveled back home to Korea during the summers, but with volunteer jobs and the sorts, I decided to stay for once.

The coolness of the evenings was soothing enough to help me forget about the hot afternoons. There was nothing more to do than to work couple of hours and enjoy life. With celebrations like Fourth of July and Fitchburg Days, peace and tranquility was abounding. There were a few friends that I hung out with often. Late one night, as we were heading somewhere, I heard the song “Saturday in the Park” by Chicago for the first time.

Ever since then, the song always reminded me of the summer, a memory that never fails to remind me that life can be good even amongst the most darkening hours.

Walk to Eternity

It is days before I head back to the States for a Master’s degree. I will be there for less than a year, but changing places is never easy. I think the reason some of us have a hard time with parting ways or leaving is that it reminds us that we are indeed bound by time, eventually to face death.

Random Meetings in the Streets

The reality behind the scenes of everyday life and the reality beyond the act of the miracles. Memories and persistence may be the two thoughts to have after reading this.

He was a big man. He used to come up to me and ask if I wanted to see some judo moves. I would say no, but I would be on the ground the moment I blinked. Though he was older than me, he came as such a friendly guy. Every once in a while, I would strike up a conversation with him, talking about the deep aspects of daily life. I remember how he would console me by telling me how he himself was having a hard time. He did not really know what he wanted to do, but society and time pressured him as each day passed.

I had put away these memories in a box and tucked it away, but it refused to be forgotten as the box seemed to jump off from the shelf. I ran into him one day in the streets of Seoul. He was in a suit and also wore a big smile along with it. He gave me his business card, but I did not really care for where he was working. All I needed to know was that God provided, and that he had gotten a first-hand experience on it.

Something Adventure

The gentleness of the day and the quietness of the night whisper of God’s love, but I want to find God in the darkest of the night, the driest of the desert, the coldest of the tundra, the loneliest of the mountains, amongst the most broken hearted. There, I hope to hear from Him the clearest.

Ice Cream

Life got too busy. No one ever stops for ice cream.

Dream Sequence: Love 101

My mind wandered some more. I pictured myself in a classroom. I am listening to the famous lecture given by Jesus Christ. I try to understand what he means by L-O-V-E, but the letters I have only spell H-A-T-E. No matter how hard I try, what I am left with is meaningless H-E-A-T, that which simply dissipates. Empty passion leads to frustration. A new life is what I need.

Running Free

As much as it is difficult to swim against the river of laziness, a quick jog does wonders to my mind, especially jogging late at night. The darkness gently covers my worries as I leave behind thoughts. Each step I take is another step towards what seems like enlightenment. Maybe this is what a runner’s high is. In any case, the run never lasts long and nothing has actually changed, but I feel so much lighter. Clearing my head, sleeping well for another day.