Longing for God

I have always sparked a relationship from women within the church. Not until recent years have I met someone without a Christian background. Now they all had their special personalities, backgrounds, and characters, but they all seemed to share one commonality. It was a longing for something spiritual. They all had their share of broken hearts, their shortcomings and failures. They all seemed to long for an eternal love, which to me, was only capable of being found in God. I would let them know that they are precious, the most treasured treasure by God, that they can now rest peacefully within the hands of Jesus. 

Random blurb, I know, but I want to ask a question: How about you?

Verse for 2019

Over the past several years, I was given time to reflect the past year and look forward to the new year with verses. This year, however, I was simply out of it. I did not bother to take time to pray to God on what was to come in the near future. Luckily, the church I had attended over the year gave out Bible verses for the congregation this weekend, after having finished a two week morning prayer session. 

I asked one of the pastors for a verse and the passage read as follows:

"Nehemiah said, 'Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.'" Nehemiah 8:10

The exiled Israelites have come back and finish rebuilding the walls, and with the hearing of the Law of the LORD, Nehemiah declares the day holy to God. It is declared to be a day of festival where people will enjoy God. 

With the coming year, the last year of my public health doctor service as for the mandatory military service substitution, I wish to enjoy the days with God, fully embracing the given time and resources. Only for the LORD, only to the LORD. 

Departure

A good friend in faith may soon be leaving. Though only to another country, the distance between each other will have an effect as all are bound by the physical body. I had not thought much of it the first time I heard the news, but as the date for his departure grows near, I started to feel sentimental. Recently, God had been teaching me to acknowledge and learn the importance and the gravity of human interaction, even the smallest relationships that are formed daily. 

Then I thought about how I should not be saddened at all. Instead, I felt that I should pray even more, for I believe that through the Holy Spirit, brothers in faith will be united no matter the circumstances. Even further, I realized that with the Holy Spirit, I will soon be without fear, without anxiety, without worries, and without sorrows. I will be free.

So I leave a little message for my friend. I am especially grateful for the friendship I was allowed by God. You had taught me a lot in how to be humane and loving. Wherever you will be, I will be with you in prayer. Thanks so much. 

Better than the Promised Land

"Then Moses climbed Mount Nebo from the plains of Moab to the top of Pisgah, across from Jericho. There the Lord showed him the whole land—from Gilead to Dan, all of Naphtali, the territory of Ephraim and Manasseh, all the land of Judah as far as the Mediterranean Sea, the Negev and the whole region from the Valley of Jericho, the City of Palms,as far as Zoar. Then the Lord said to him, 'This is the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob when I said, ‘I will give it to your descendants.’ I have let you see it with your eyes, but you will not crossover into it.'

And Moses the servant of the Lord died there in Moab, as the Lord had said. He buried him in Moab, in the valley opposite Beth Peor, but to this day no one knows where his grave is. Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone. The Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days, until the time of weeping and mourning was over." Deuteronomy 34:1-8

I have always thought about how cruel God was to have Moses see the land, but never walk it. Recently, however, I heard a sermon on how this was not the cruelty of God, but rather a blessing. God allowed Moses to prepare death. Instead of having Moses lead the Israelites on further, God brings Moses home, back to His presence, the final destination, the end goal, the happiest eternity. 

I have reconciled the fact that I may not have all that I desire. I have realized that I am weak and imperfect. I will continue on to deteriorate, but I now believe that God will give for me the best of anything and everything. Though I may never recognize it, it will be what is best for me. Amen, again, I say, amen. 

Deathwish Heaven

A certain deathwish, yearning heaven
Responding to the call, knowing when to leave
Confidently say, "Let's go."

Question Answered

"When John, who was in prison, heard about the deeds of the Messiah, he sent his disciples to ask him, 'Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?' Jesus replied, 'Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.'" Matthew 11:2-6

I thought about why Jesus never answered with a clear yes or no. Then, I thought about how if I were in that situation, I would not have been satisfied with a simple "yes." Instead, Jesus calls upon John to look into the promises of the Old Testament. The blind received sight. The lame walked. The lepers were healed. The deaf could hear. The dead were raised to life, and the good news was proclaimed to the poor. Jesus did not baby John. He encouraged him instead. He directed John on through the path he was right well on. 

여름 바람

선선한 여름 바람. 순수했던 마음. 

무궁무진했던 그 미래의 기대들. 찬란한 여름 날의 상쾌함.
이제 다시는 그 때로 돌아갈 수 없음을 알면서도
젊음의 땀방울이 혹시나 다시 맺히진 않을까,
내 삶의 모든 때가 씻겨 나가는 일은 혹시나 있을 순 없을까.