Sonnets from the Portuguese 43: How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Sonnets from the Portuguese 43: How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight.
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, –I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! — and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Chasing Freedom

Why are you feeling constantly chased?
Nobody is following. No one is shouting.
Everyone is walking their own journey,
glad to see another along the way.
The only judge is at the end of the road
with wide open arms, waiting to pour out love.
Please enjoy your life now.
All will be well in the embrace of the LORD

On Healing

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

to humble myself, to pray, to seek his face, to turn from wicked ways

He will hear from heaven and forgive my sins, and heal my land, my life. 

Only Three Times

"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." Luke 22:31-32

"Peter replied, 'Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!' Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: 'Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.' And he went outside and wept bitterly." Luke 22:60-62

Jesus, before getting arrested, told Simon Peter what was to come. Jesus predicted that Peter would deny him three times before the rooster crowed. Before that, however, Jesus said to Peter that he prayed for him. The demand of Satan was to be carried on. 

For the longest time, the words of Jesus was criticism to me. It seemed like Jesus was already chiding Peter for his lack of faith.

But the words of Jesus were never filled with scolding. It was a loving encouragement. Despite the demands of Satan, Peter would only deny him three times. Though it could have been more, though it could have been a falling out, though it could have cost his lifetime of faith, Jesus prayed for Simon Peter so that he could turn back. 

Last Night in Buksan

A year has passed already. It seemed like time here would never end. Days and weeks sure felt faster as I grew older. Trees among the mountains changed from green to orange, white to green yet again. All the hours spent driving from here to there seemed to be mashed together in my head. 

I remember the lonely rides back into the countryside late at night. I remember speeding so much in hopes that I might crash and die instantly. I remember seeing lots of elk roaming around, gently hiding back into the bushes as I approached closer. I remember the day I squashed a little rabbit with my car. It was an accident, of course, but I felt like the spirit of the rabbit hovered over me throughout my sleep. I remember seeing the cherry blossoms blooming in its full magnificence, shedding tears onto the roads. I remember driving up a slippery slope, only to see a grand view of the lake and its mountains. I remember driving all around the province of Gangwon, hours to and fro. I remember driving to Gangneung to work as a medical team member in the Pyeonchang Olympics. I remember the snowplow making way for me into the health center, so that I could stay home and cook wings upon a grill outside below the spring snow. I remember driving back home after sweeping the national tournament of public health doctor basketball league with Chulwon and Chuncheon together as a team. I remember driving in the hard rain that seemed to wash away everything on the mountains. I remember playing the music so loud in the car, just to drown out my screams towards God for help. I remember driving in the quiet nights with stars shining ever so brightly. I remember listening to a sermon every drive home, trying to get closer to God and learn more about Him. I remember driving from one branch to another with joyous laughter spent with fellow doctors. I remember picking up good friends who came all the way here just to see me for only a couple of hours. I remember throwing up in the tunnels from having taken too much tramadol, desperately trying not to spill in the car seats. I remember calling my friend just to hear his voice for comfort. I remember driving back excited from having bought hamburgers, as there were no restaurants near the residence. I remember driving with one eye open after having I&D on a sty. I remember swiveling three times before making it safely back to Chuncheon. I remember the first time getting off. I will surely remember the last time driving away.  

All of this was so very unexpected, but I am thankful all together. Though another two years are left, I pray to God for a good year gone by. 

Passing Thoughts on 1 Samuel 22, 23

"All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their commander. About four hundred men were with him." 1 Samuel 22:2

Compared to the life that I live now, though I may not be God's beloved David, am I not surrounded by traitors, slanderers, and the discontented? Am I not one of them, if not, all in one? Should I not be trustful towards God and embrace all that have been gathered around me?


"When David was told, 'Look, the Philistines are fighting against Keilah and are looting the threshing floor,' he inquired of the LORD, saying, 'Shall I go and attack these Philistines?'" 1 Samuel 23:1

Although in distress, fleeing for their lives, David took it as a personal matter when the men of Keilah were being attacked by the Philistines. Though in trouble himself, he found the heart to help those that were in need as well. Should I not learn to do the same?

"And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God." 1 Samuel 23:16

I wish to find a friend who shall encourage me in my walk with God. I wish to be a friend who encourages a friend in his walk with God. 

Throw Your Arms Around

"So he got up and went to his father. 'But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.'" Luke 15:20

Upon revisiting the passage, I thought about the father's reaction towards his son. I wondered if I ever have loved someone so passionately, despite the heart breaking actions. I wondered if it was just that I was not yet married, clueless to the changes upon raising a child. I wondered if it was precisely that I have never loved someone more than I have loved myself. 

It was a cold winter season. I hope my spring season comes along as well.