Was there anything that was precious to me? Was there anyone so important to me that I could not do without?
I seemed to have lived life a step back from it all. I never felt fully engaged to anything. All seemed ephemeral and I decided never to get attached.
I wondered if loving God was so difficult precisely because I never learned to love anything. Nothing was too precious, not even myself. How was I to love others if I had not loved myself?
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