Lately

I didn't intend to lengthen the days of silence. I guess I just haven't been keen on writing much lately. I will leave by sharing a few thoughts I have been dealing with.

1. On living life: Outwardly, nothing has changed. I am still in service. I may be a tad older, hopefully a little better in shape, but not much else. Inwardly however, I have been through a wild journey. Although at times not so presentable nor stately, I have experience much to life, specifically in regards to being away from God's lovely home. I guess I have seen the world outside the walls of the church. I have seen the temptations, the hurts, the brokenness that resides in all human nature. At times I felt I was one with the world, the same dirty and faulty self. At other times, I had in mind that I would never be truly one of them. 

After all I have been through, I felt like I had become the second son from the first, having left home after being a "good" son. Being back, I wondered what then I should be doing, and His answer seemed to be love. As with the first book of John, God seemed to want me to love. Not simply to love objects, but people. Honestly, I know in my head, but still am unsure on what my daily actions would have to be to reflect such a command. In any case, such was my thoughts on life

2. On the future: As times of change are coming, I wished to look further out as well. I remember several prays I had made while younger, but circumstances have certainly changed. I wanted some kind of a vision statement from God. I had remembered I always wanted to leave the country to a developing one, and I certainly still hope to spend couple of years in one. Nevertheless, I have started to feel like God wants me to stay in the city and help those within. It occurred to me that I wished to leave more so of my desire to rid of responsibilities. I wanted to lose social ties. However, I remember God calling me back to Korea, as though I would be needed more here. I felt by sermons and scripture that God did not despise cities as if they were defiled, but loved them as his people were heavily populated within. 

This carried onto my thoughts on marriage. I had made my mind to find someone who shared such thoughts on urban ministry. Although it may be that much tougher to resist temptations heavily lying in cities, but I am sure there would be temptation anywhere. Wherever I was, with God, life would be heaven. 

All in all, I am simply trying to enjoy praising God and praying more. Until next time!