Dirtiest Confession

Why did it have to be today? Out of all the thousand days we had been together.
Why not on the first week, the first month, or even the first year? I should have yelled at you. I should have thrown all the curse words I had gathered over the years. I should have thrown you out, rather than throwing myself out. 

It just came too much a surprise to me. You seemed too in love this evening. Both our parents seemed so happy for us. You seemed truly happy. Under all the bright lights of the chandelier, I guess I simply failed to see the tired boy hidden for so long. I never would have guessed. I never would have wanted to know. 

Now that we were back at our apartment, under the hanging light, dimly lit, gently swaying with the wind, I could see clearly. I'm sorry I kept silent for so long the moment after you had told me. I don't even know if I really am sorry. 

I guess I can thank you for the brutal truth. Better now than after three kids. Go run along now. I'm pretty sure I am still in shock. Go live your life, while I'll forever be the woman left alone for another guy. 

Anger, depression, confusion, even a scoff with several deep sighs. Everything shattered. The one thing I cannot forgive is not that you had kept such a thought a secret to me, but that I am still thinking about where all this went downhill.