Hello to You Too

One disappointment, I must confess, that I had recently circled around the value of community, one of meaningful relationships and family of church. 

I had lived a chunk of my life away from my family. Though my brother and I were together, most of our families were in another country. As I was still reaching maturity, not only the physical sense, but of intellectual and social as well, meeting a core group of people in church was a blessing. The church community became like family, and I learned about relationships, sacrifice and love. 

Like all, I soon graduated and moved away from the community of believers. Now, most of the people I met there swore to keep together, no matter the circumstances. However, just when I was having the most difficult time of my life, none of the members reached out to me. It was only a couple that bothered to keep in touch, and only one that actually stuck around. 

Sacrifice, love, family. All of the upperclassmen, all of friends, never came around when I was in desperate need. I really believed that it were through these people that God would show his love and support to me, but I was so very wrong. I have heard many times not to depend on people, but I never would have guessed that this lowest of lowest was the state of humanity. 

I like to believe that I know better to hold a grudge against anyone in such a situation, but I had met my limit when I heard a couple of my so-called friends share their thoughts on my outcry. 

When I was met with the chance to talk to them, I spoke of my disappointments, as I held them to be my closest friends, with higher expectations. However, none of them believed they had done anything wrong. They also began to call out on me, for having wrong thoughts and being the worse friend. They also hinted at my lack of being in a relationship with a woman, and implied that it is because of such a lack that I would not know their situation, that I was wrong to have expected more from them. 

There were more instances, less so direct than this. All in all, I simply realized that they really didn't need me or long for me. I stated to wonder if they ever really did in the first place. 

Was it so hard to reach out? Was it so difficult to simply say sorry? I too will admit that I must have missed out on a deeper relationship with an opposite sex, and how much effort it is to allow for any attention to other matters. Honestly, however, I think it's just an excuse, simply afraid to admit you were wrong. 

Yes, I am talking to you right now. Stop making excuses. If you really cared at all, you would know I would put it all behind and start building anew. All this additional silence simply adds to my belief that you never considered me a good friend in the first place.