The “Already” of God

It is quite easy for those who have just begun to walk in the way of Christianity to consider God as a problem solver. Whether it is a simple matter of finding food for tomorrow to complexities scaling to national emergencies, we all seem to ask for something. Maybe it is from ages of shamanism deeply instilled within cultures, nonetheless, we ask for betterment of our shortcomings. Personally, I ask God to make me a humble man, yet, at the same time, ask that I become a talented man. I ask to be wise in my spending, yet, ask for the winning combination in the lottery.

With time, however, our prayers go rather unanswered. I have never won the lottery, and I honestly don’t think I ever will. Would this challenge the almighty power of the Lord? Does this threaten His loving kindness? Maybe, but I found it more so that my prayers were selfishness seeping out.

Jesus once said, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?...So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:25, 31-33)

It seems pretty clear that God will provide for all the needs of being human. He demands that we ask for something more, the kingdom come. I wish to be the one to obey and say that all I seek is to be in His presence all the days of my life, but reality clings on like a hook. There are still people, even believers, who do not find food for the day, clothes for tomorrow. I still lack the kindness of heart to spread to others, in hopes to show the difference of being a Christian.

Despite all schism between reality and what is written in the Bible, not much seems to shake up the daily routines of life. It was then when I realized that maybe God has already provided. Maybe the small allowance that I have saved was to put food for a neighbor of mine. Maybe the kindness of heart that is to be seen to others is there, but simply needs a brush-up. Maybe all the problems that we face each day already has answer that somehow got lost in the messy room of our minds.

It just seems that God has already shown me what is good. I just need to act upon it. 

Looking Back Now

"Who am I, O LORD God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? And as if this were not enough in your sight, O God, you have spoken about the future of the house of your servant. You have looked on me as though I were the most exalted of men, O LORD God." 1 Chronicles 17:16b

Looking at where I am now, I’m actually glad that God has brought me here, far beyond where I would have been. A nobody in everyone’s sight, I feel like I am now standing among the spiritually strong, the promised ones, the chosen people, those who have devoted their lives to God, by the grace of God of course. Though I know I am nowhere near the ancestors of faith, I am overwhelmed by how He has me amongst His cherished ones. 

Tempest

Like a tempest, my heart tempers.
Tantrums in bantam fights,
my soul perishes into the nights.
David's harp is what keeps me sane.
Fain disdain, shackled together in chain,
My soul longs for God, it's all I got.
That glimmer of light deep within,
cover and shower me, clear the skies.
Thank you forever Jesus Christ

Whinings on Why I am Still Awake

Why am I still awake
in this god forsaken heap called work today?
Adam and Eve, forever condemned,
child bearing unbearing and tearing apart.
Seemingly unending curses beyonding our mind.
Watch and see, Jesus Christ, saving our asses.
As our souls, forever listening, glistening.
Yeah, kingdom come.

Singing to Joakim Karud - Love Mode
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz3lG2D6o2A

Stop Drop and Think

Stop, think, and realize that everything you have is from God.
Even that next breath you breathe.
Every cells that move about in you. 
Literally everything.
What for? Give thanks, love God. 

Thought of the Day #540321

Medical school is fast coming to an end. Just several more weeks of rotations, and I'll be mostly studying for the board exam. 

The past two weeks were spent in the emergency ward. Emergency. Patients ranging from minor worries to life threatening conditions come and go. The health insurance policy is highly people-friendly here, hence the low threshold in visiting the hospital. 

Occasional suicide patients come briskly through the doors, mostly from poisoning. Some come with cardiac arrests, others simply unconscious. Nonetheless, they are quickly brought forth for intubation, venous catheterization, evaluation and the sorts. 

God allows some people to get better, to see their family once more. Others, I guess He has other plans, but it is quite difficult in letting people off life support. They are kept alive by the strides of modern medicine, but more so simply alive than living. 

I wondered if such was what God sees in us: completely dead inside, simply kept alive by the hand of God. Perhaps in hopes of waking up, perhaps giving enough time for loved ones to say goodbye, perhaps miracle of salvation. 

On His Words

Like an old friend, His words come bearing comfort.
The restless heart finds peace as every letter wraps the broken spirit together.
You came like a gentle breeze, calling for the scent of spring, new life.
Your sun shines with love, as I lie in wait, passing worries away.
With new strength, I rise to spread this message: of sin, the fall, and the redemption.