San Diego Story

I was recently in San Diego for a conference. The conference was on obesity, and apparently a lot of Family Medicine doctors are a part of it. Anyways, besides being in Miami for a brief day or so, it was the first time visiting the US again after nearly 10 years.

I first landed in LA to spend a day with my cousin, whom I have not seen in a long time as well. I got to tour around the neighborhood for nearly half a day. After passing out for a whole 8 hours, I drove down to SD.

I had a couple of days to roam around SD as well. I visited places downtown, the local malls and the San Diego Park as well. I even remember taking a jog at some trail, where there was nothing but endless views of rocks and shrubs.

At that point, I realized that nothing really had changed here. It was just that I had changed. I had learned more. I had seen more. It was the little things that really got to me.

All the news of Asian hate crimes, the gun issues, the homeless owning an entire street. Just being there alone, all by myself had be lonely and scared as well. The dynamics of interactions were different, the conversations too. I'm sure all of this was present 10 years ago as well. I probably just never noticed it.

I was so longing to be back in the States, but I realized it was just the younger days that I desired. The people and the opportunities, the time well spent together. Those were what I was hoping for.

I was feeling pretty sad about everything in Korea, especially where my life seemed to have landed. I felt like such a loser with my job, with my economic situation. The week spent in the States, however, made me realize that I was living a pretty good life. I was just making myself seem little. I was just angry and disappointed at God.

Seeing my cousin just living his life there helped me out as well. He bought himself a house. He had a fiancee. Life, love and growing old. He was just going through it all, and it was okay. I realized that was just how people lived on.

I ran across a passage when I was there: "The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.” John 3:8

I began to hope again. I began to dream again. I realized that God would again lead me on to different joys in life, different situations, different adventures. I would blow like the wind, along with the Holy Spirit. Though only for a few days, I felt like I left my baggage.

Time to move on.