Free Clinic

"Then his master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?' And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.'" Matthew 18:32-35

I decided to attend a new church as with the start of 2018. I ended most of my ties to the former church, all but the voluntary medical services team. The team met every month to open a free medical clinic for a couple of hours where there were many foreigners. I never stopped to ask each and every patient their profile, but I heard some were legally allowed and working in Korea, while some were not. I heard some were decently well-off, while some did not have much. 

I had joined this team around late spring of last year. When I had started, I never really thought about who the patients might be, for I was too occupied in making the correct diagnosis and treating the patients accordingly. As I got used to being a doctor, I started to notice that some patients were not quite needy. 

I say this because there was this patient who had awful Diabetes. His glucose numbers were well above 200, nearing 300 actually. I had told him that he needed to go to a hospital and get better medications, because the voluntary clinic only had a few types of drugs. For the longest time, he did not listen. I had thought this was due to legal issues or even money, but he had fancy sunglasses on all the time while wearing expensive watches. 

Ever since, my heart began to grow colder. It definitely reached a critical point today as an older lady came and simply demanded an ointment cream. I understood she spoke very little Korean, but it ticked me off that she did not even try to communicate. She simply wanted what she wanted. I really did my best to hold down my anger. Luckily, there was a pastor who could translate for me, and I more or less understood her situation. It, however, did not change the fact that the drugs she wanted were mostly over-the-counter drugs she could easily buy at a pharmacy. It just came to me as that she simply wanted free stuff. 

To the best of my knowledge, the clinic was for those who were in need, those who were in troubling situations. These patients, however, only seemed to be abusing what was formed in good will. 

I had asked the pharmacist if it was okay to just give away even to those who were fully capable of sustaining for themselves. She said yes, knowing full well that the clinic would be abused. It certainly was not that the clinic was short of drugs, but I just could not handle the injustice. 

Then I thought about all the times I had gotten something for free. Who was I to be the moral judge of this old lady? Who was I to be criticizing the abusive patients? Was I never in the wrong? Had I never gotten something that I did not deserve, that I did not need? The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant came to my mind. Grace of God came to my mind. All I had was God-given, nothing deserved. 

The entire event still lingered in my heart. It poked me and irritated me, but I knew I should not let it. It had been more than 10 years since I had gotten baptized. I had hoped I had matured in Christ, but I do not think I changed but bit for the better. Yet, I am trying to be hopeful, as the Disciples, whom had gotten personal teachings from Christ, had not changed until years later.