Confession at Work

Here is a confession I probably should not make online, but here goes:

I had left work 30 minutes early yesterday, and I missed an emergency. 

Though nothing can justify my actions, here is my sorry excuse: Having been stationed in one of the most rural branches of the public health center, there are no conveniences within at least a 10 kilometer radius. Just going to the city takes nearly 40 minutes of driving. Naturally, I promised myself that I would drive downtown only twice a week, though it may be a bit suffocating. 

Starting this week, I took Monday off from driving, stayed home and worked out. Tuesday, I went to the city to play soccer with the rest of the doctors for nearly 3 hours. It was pretty late and since there were no stores open, let alone any stores to be honest, I had to stuff down my desire for an ice cold cola. 

Yesterday, the monthly seminar was scheduled at the other side of the city. Feeling pretty tired myself, I decided to skip the seminar and stay home. Plus, I wanted to head downtown on Thursday for my jiu jitsu lessons, but the problem was that I could not quench my thirst for that cola. Since the drive to the convenience store was not as far as driving to the city, I excused myself from work 30 minutes early to head there. Honestly, I could have left after 6, but I just felt too stuffy to stay another minute at the branch center. 

It took about ten minutes to get to the store, and as I was filling my desires for the sweets, I noticed a missed call. It was from the branch, and a certain nervousness hit my heart. With a few phone calls, I learned that one of the townsmen had dropped still while sitting in the bathroom. It was an emergency, and I had not been there to help out. 

From the few symptoms gathered, normal blood pressure, normal body temperature, history of having worked in the sun for hours and dropping still from the toilet gave the impression of a cerebral hemorrhage, probably subarachnoid hemorrhage. With such an impression, there probably was nothing more I could have done, but to have the patient sent to the nearest hospital that could perform an emergency operation. Had I still been at my desk, I could have probably called the ambulance a minute earlier than when they had made the call. 

As words of comfort, there probably was nothing more I could have done had I stayed, but I could not shake off the feeling of guilt and responsibility. I had been placed here for the general health of the townspeople. It was my responsibility to respond to such an emergency, though perhaps only from 9 to 6, though very ill-equipped. 

The little decisions in life truly seemed to carry big consequences. Perhaps it can make a mark in my heart as a wake-up call for diligence as a doctor.