The school year began a month early this year. A month of "Clinical Practice" lectures was the reason. In the end, we were evaluated on our practice of medicine in clinical setting, though the patients were actors.
I do say a lot when it comes to grades, but I like to pride in myself that I am not hung up on them. Today, however, I was quite sad about my evaluation of my examination. I had barely gotten any points on the category of "empathy." You could ask what "empathy" is doing in a grade sheet, but it was for making doctors better at being one with patients, especially since Korean doctors need to see nearly twice as many patients than that of the U.S.
The grade took extra blows to my heart for empathy was indeed something I always felt I was lacking. I came to this school to become a doctor not for myself, but for the patients. Yet, I felt so far away form it.
A week of hospital practice had passed. I already saw that I had trouble interacting with the patients. Of course it is definitely different to approach patients as a student acting as a doctor, but I imagined that I would do so much better. For nearly two years, I thought about how I would do once I step foot in the hospital. After one meager week, I already dread it.
One step at a time, perhaps, for You, God.
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