Breaktime Part 1

Hey everyone, not that I really had followers :P More like “Hi myself; hi God!” It has been nearly four months, and I had just gone through my first semester of medical school. I doubt a man could change so much in such a short time, but I would like to believe that I have indeed changed for the better, at least a little bit. Right from the start, I realized that I had a lot of false conception about medical school. Though so glorified by many, it really was simply a school, a school with people just like you and me. I must say, though, everyone was studious. I guess one of the first few things I learned was to control my sleeping patterns. I had always needed at least five to six hours to function. Now, well, I’m getting better. I won’t say that I do not have to catch up on sleep during the weekends, but I definitely learned how to sleep less, and study more. I guess a sentimental part of me enjoys the fact that I am able to stay up later, allowing me to break the boundaries of night and day. Time almost seemed to mesh together, yesterdays and tomorrows.

One thing is for sure, however; I am slowly losing contact with society, almost being channeled out of humanity. As a first year student, I haven’t even been able to go to the hospital to see any patients. I do understand the policy, as I still know nothing about the human body, but a lot of my passion for goodwill unto the nations has been put on hold. My walk with God has slowly faded, not that I lost the passion, but shear time was lacking. I do realize that studying is indeed a part of worship, for He has put me here as a student, but it really was difficult spending less moments with God.

I started to wonder what it is that I had paid to get here. Not in the financial sense, but in terms of life: connection to society, my inner humanity, my faith. I know that I lost a good friend. Though it may be too early to be saying this, but, this time, there will always be scar tissue that gently reminds the hurt within the relationship.

“What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” Matthew 16:26

Indeed. What have I sacrificed to gain for myself? What have I sacrificed for God? The balance weighs one-sided.

Hopefully, at the end of this tunnel, I will meet my purpose, my calling, without having lost too much.