Estranged

I feel more and more estranged from society,
slowly becoming something weirder and darker.

Fungal F

I heard it's pretty rare for the department of Family Medicine to have in-patients with pneumonia, let alone the cause still yet to be found. We narrowed it down to either malignancy or fungal infection, but it's going to take a while as the pleural effusion has blocked any views via CT scan. 

Nonetheless, my attending was going over my management history with the patient, and kindly pointed out all that was done well, and all that was not. 

It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps God could be doing the same. Going over all that I was doing as a Christian, on how I lived my life according to the Bible. All that has not been done well. 

I can surely say I'll probably be flying with shining colors with a big fat letter 'F'. It's funny how I felt like I was just in training even in church when I was a student. Now, as I am working professionally, it just seemed like I was called to be a professional Christian as well. Sincerely praying and spreading. 

I wonder how I will have done some years later?

Living History

We seem to be living history,
and our actions will indeed echo throughout time.
How will you live your life?

Forgiveness in Days to come

 It is said that forgiveness does not require re-connection. Those that have done wrong should be forgiven, for our sake. It does not mean that a relationship has to be as was before. What is passed is past. Harboring hurts should never be. Let's move on. 

Estrangement

A little bit of pain is not too bad says he.
All my life, I've struggled to avoid all that.
The vulnerability, the weakness, the fragility.
I have indeed lived an easier life than most.
Maybe the estrangement is just a consequence.

Life Realizations

I'm slowly realizing that reality is as is, and no fantastic adventures lie ahead.

Dreams and hopes shattered powerlessly before limitations of life.

Better find a new goal, somewhere here on Earth, somewhere within God. 

Lost Presence

 "Then he led me to the gate, the gate facing east. And behold, the glory of the God of Israel was coming from the east. And the sound of his coming was like the sound of many waters, and the earth shone with his glory. And the vision I saw was just like the vision that I had seen when he came to destroy the city, and just like the vision that I had seen by the Chebar canal. And I fell on my face. As the glory of the LORD entered the temple by the gate facing east, the Spirit lifted me up and brought me into the inner court; and behold, the glory of the LORD filled the temple." Ezekiel 43:1-5

God suddenly had me realize that I had drifted off quite a bit. It was always the little details that brings about changes. I had neglected the daily reflections, the prayers, the reading of the Bible and all. 

Upon closing my eyes and praying, I imagined perhaps God's presence falling here in the hospital, in my room, in me ultimately, all the wonders and the glory of the world falling completely right here where I stand. 

The presence of God was something I had forgotten in a long time. It was what had me breathing. Upon His presence, nothing of this worldly worries would seem important. I long for that day.