Magical Hospital Life

It's strange to work in an hospital. You know, in a room there's a father holding his son for the first time, in another room there's a son holding his father for the last time.

And then in another room there's a guy with a remote stuck in the anus. It's the circle of life. 

- Anonymous internet post

It's been months since I started working in the hospital. It has been amazingly boring most of the times, because the Korean medical system has a mandatory internship period of one year, in which the interns act on menial doctor jobs around different specialties departments and learn about the hospital system. 

I'm not to say that I did not learn anything. I am learning very much about how a modern hospital operates, and how doctors are to see patients in such conditions. However, it is rather boring. It might get very much exciting as I head into residency, but I still have no clue what God wants from me. 

One thing nice about being busy is that I do not have much time to think or worry about anything in life. 

In any case, the hospital is indeed a magical place. It is a weird place indeed. I'm still trying to find how I would fit in. 

Immanuel

God with me.
God with you.
God with us.

Sunday Blues

Them Sunday blues caught a hold on me
The sun slowly falling down, taking my heart along
Upcoming woes never seem sweet
All I feel is emptiness and loneliness
Where to O God, where to?
Jesus rose, but I still feel the same
You are victorious, but I feel ever defeated
With a night's sleep I surely will forget
but I know again, it'll catch me once more
Them Sunday blues, never seem to let go

Dreaming Children

"When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, 'What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?' His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind." Genesis 37:10-11

I have begun my rotations in pediatrics now. The first week was a bit of a hassle, but I have adjusted well quite quickly. As it is a big hospital, there are several specialties to pediatrics. I have been assigned to pediatric neurology, and have met with lots of patients with seizure and epilepsy history.

The general mood of the ward was a bit gloomy from the start. Most the patients have admission days that last quite a while, some reaching to hundreds. As that is, legal guardians, mostly the parents are quite sensitive towards any acting of doctors.

As much as it is frustrating for me to do anything, I do see where they are coming from. Epileptic illnesses are rarely curable. It is more so disease that are meant to be controlled. Kids are on antiepileptic drugs throughout their lives, and have to go in and out of the hospital if the medication starts to fail.

If seizures are not well controlled, they often go through brain surgeries, which leave them quite incapable. Some just seem living, rarely alive.

The sermon today was on Genesis 37. The series on Genesis has now reached the story of Joseph. Often times when we hear about Joseph and his dreams, we think about how arrogant he was on boasting about his dream. The pastor, however, talked about how the family could have done better. Instead of scolding him, perhaps they should have listened to him and encouraged his dreams.

Instead of taking offense, what if they family had told Joseph the virtues of a leader? Perhaps that of a great man?

The sermon connected with the patients I saw everyday at the ward. What dreams would these children ever have?

I did dread working at the ward lately, but I felt like some decent prayer was quite necessary. I wanted to pray so that these children could really dream again, perhaps be completely rid of their illnesses and run around with their fellow classmates. I wanted them to have strong desires to become somebody and work hard to achieve. I wanted them to truly enjoy the world God had built for us, and to truly learn of his love.

If even one child became healthy, everyone would exclaim the presence of a miracle, but I would know it was an act of God's mercy. I really want that intimacy with Him. If it is not too much to ask, could everyone pray with me? Thanks always. 

Fading Life

It's been nearly two weeks since I started my internship at a hospital. Honestly, I was quite ready to quit after the first day of being on call. Thankfully, I got adjusted quite well. I heard my part of the hospital is one of the easier parts. Nonetheless, I have been working in the Oncology department, mostly working on fever and pain control. 

Since the hospital I am in is one of the biggest hospitals, a lot of terminally ill patients arrive. Over a day, a handful of patients pass away. Yet, the hospital keeps running, everyone busy with work. Only the family members and relatives are left behind.

One of my jobs is to remove catheters and IV lines within dead patients. As I walk into the sullen room, I quietly do my work and try my best to leave unnoticed. Of course, my first few times, I had blood spilling everywhere, despite my best efforts in showing the highest respect for the patient.

Another patient passed away today. A nice old lady, growing thin each day. She started twitching, her pupils moving further up, only responding mechanically to our questions. I was trying to find her radial artery pulse, but with each beat, it grew weaker. I looked up to see her gasping few breaths, and soon she passed away. Life just slipped out of her as I was watching. 

Yet, my phone kept ringing. I was again busy running from ward to ward. Everyone else was too. Life comes and goes, fading in and out. 

On Ad Astra

"Now we know, we're all we got." - Ad Astra

Never thought that the implications of accepting humanity as the only form of life in the universe would be that we are all that we have. It would makes us even more precious, even more loving.

I had once heard that Christian doctrine leans towards that there are no extraterrestrial lifeforms. I never bothered to study it. I brushed it off as simply being stubborn and obtuse. Now I know that believing we are the only intelligent being would makes us unique, that God indeed created us specially, that we are to know Him and to love Him.

Hospital Capitol

My military service is officially over. A full three years and a month did come to an end, and I am looking towards my residency. I have heard many stories of hardship while being in the hospital, and I naturally did not look forward to my time there. Yet, I thought about all the wonderful time I had meeting new friends in faith, just being with people who loved the LORD. I thought about all the wonderful possibilities and experiences I may encounter there and soon began to lighten up. Amidst the COVID-19 outbreak, it is rare to be meeting new people. I'm doing my best to take this opportunity as a God-given one, and try and make the most of it. Pray for me while I begin my training!