Coming Back

Last weekend, public doctors in Korea got together for two days in Muju for an annual sports competition. The events consisted of basketball, soccer, swimming, screen golf, ping pong and even Starcraft. There were more, but I was part of the basketball team.

As preparation, doctors in Chuncheon teamed up with those in Chulwon to make a team of 10 players. The first goal was to win the qualifications within Gangwondo, one of the nine provinces in Korea. The qualifications were set to be in July, so the team got together at least once a week to practice, starting early May. 

Although I mostly played the shooting guard position, one player from Chulwon was simply amazing to play any other position. Luckily, I was one of the better ball handlers for the team, so I filled in for the point guard position. 

We had our difficulties, but we managed to pull through in both the qualifications and the nationwide tournament. To explain a little bit of the game, the opposing team played rough. They fouled constantly, but received half the calls. Yet, we broke their zone defense with quick jumpers and fast-breaks. As the last second on the timeclock ticked, the entire team was overjoyed. 

Everyone was frantic in taking photographs. It was wise to hurry to process as most of the players had plans back in Seoul, and with each minute past meant more traffic. 

As I was watching the team run around with big smiles, I remembered the last time I had participated in team basketball. It was during my sophomore year in high school. I had barely made the junior varsity team. It was also the year I had started staying at a friend's house as a year-long homestay by myself. 

The practices were tough. I started getting symptoms of meralgia paresthetica. I had not gotten a single play time and it was already the last game of the season. I still vividly remember kneeling down in the locker room together as a team, reciting the Hail Mary prayer as it was a Catholic high school. It was a cold night, but I was used to warming up the bench.

Then, suddenly, with barely a minute left in the game, the coach actually called me up for substitution. I was in for two whole possessions. With 3 seconds left in the game, I had gotten the offensive rebound, so I threw it back up 5 feet from the basket. The ball bounced around the rim, but never made it through.

Of course, the entire team was cheering on, but something broke inside me then. As we were watching the varsity game, tears filled up and I quickly ran into the locker room. All the hard work, the difficulties in practice, troubles at home, the entire year worth of hardship was thrown along with that last shot of mine. A deep sense of emptiness surrounded me, and emotions simply burst out. I could not hold it down. 

The captain must have seen me crying, for he followed me quickly into the lockers. He did his best to cheer me up, but a sense of defeat lingered within me. 

Flashing back to present day, I had a sense that God had allowed me victory this time around. It really does seem that God waits for us at the place of our defeat, only to have us brought back up victorious. 

Honestly, it was difficult simply driving to basketball courts from where I was. I thought I would be glad everything was over, but I knew I was going to miss it all. 

Basketball, such a love-hate relationship.